I possess many great qualities, but perhaps the greatest is my unbeatable modesty. This is why youll never hear me brag about being the worlds greatest bike blogger, or cyclings preeminent Y-Foil expert, or the genius who coined pretty much the entire lexicon of urban cycling:Also, I just happen to be the cycling medias foremost rim brake apologist. Okay, fine, admittedly thats a pretty low bar, and kind of like being the biggest Neil Diamond fan at the death metal concert. Still, nobody defends rim brakes as staunchly, passionately, andlets be frank hereinsanely as I do:Which nets me nothing except stupid Internet comments like this:Good point. Thats why every Tour de France mountain stage prior to 2018 ended in a pile-up at the bottom of the descent. Also, two can play at the I ride more seriously than you which is why I need the new bike tech and you dont game. Guess what, Brimstone 117? Im a better cyclist than you and rim brakes are fantastic, and if you cant ride the Swiss Alps with nothing to stop you but a pair of antique Delta brakes then you suck and youre a loser:[All bow to Bike Snob NYC, King of All Freds]By the way, is there anybody who needs to get over themselves more desperately than the cyclists of Colorado?Just kidding, Im not really asking, we all know the answer is No.So as the greatest living defender of rim brake road bikes, I suppose I should feel vindicated when I see something like this, right?Hey, heres the most mainstream of all cycling publications publicly stating that even today in 2026 a rim brake road bike still rides better than a disc brake road bike:Because a great rim-brake road bike offers ride feel and sensations that, in my considerable testing experience, disc-brake road bikes still havent quite unlocked. At least not yet. And those qualities are worth considering because they point to something that can get lost when we talk about the evolution of road bikes strictly in terms of what newer technology makes possible.This an astounding admissionso astounding that even I dont believe it. I mean, I have my reasons for sticking with road bikes with rim brakes, but a belief that a really nice bike with disc brakes cant possibly ride as sublimely as one with rim brakes is not one of them. And yet I dont feel vindicated, just as I didnt back in 2016 when the same publicationand the same writer!sang the praises of long-reach (or technically medium-reach) brakes:See, in both cases my reaction is simply, Well, okay, great, but where were you when we really needed you? Its one thing to lie in front of the bulldozer to save an important landmark thats being destroyed to make room for a Chipotle, but its quite another to simply watch the bulldozer roll over that landmark while actually eating a burrito bowl from a Chipotle and then write something wistful about the landmark several years later. And to me, praising rim brakes now (or medium-reach brakes in 2016) feels more like the latter.**[And yes, I will also freely admit that I resent anybody else who stands up for rim brakes because Ive built my entire identity around it and I dont want to share it. Yeah, thats right, Im gatekeeping rim brake apologism! What do you think of that!?! The only thing that scares me more than the complete disappearance of the rim brake is the resurgence of the rim brakeunless I get to take credit for it. But that would never happen. Instead, when Ultraromance designs a rim brake road bike hes lauded as a genius, whereas when I stand up for rim brakes I just get Internet comments about how Im a Luddite who doesnt ride hard enough.]And what about Firefly, the maker of the rim brake in question?Surely I owe them a debt of gratitude for all the thought and effort they put into this rim brake bicycle, right?Right?!?ABSOLUTELY NOT.To understand why, lets take a look at what they have to say about the bike:No one was asking us for a new rim brake model in 2026. But we still believe in the value of the simplicity of rim brakes, and we realized we had all of the tools we needed to build a modern, versatile, beautiful new all Ti rim brake bike, and we couldnt resist. We just had a few gaps to close.The benefits of bigger tires on road and all road bikes are undeniable, so we developed a new Ti All Road fork for medium reach caliper brakes and 40mm tire clearance.We worked with Cane Creek to modify their spectacular Brompton eeBrakes with a traditional cable pull, giving us a top of the line caliper brake with All Road tire clearance.Good quick releases are hard to find now, and dont work well with the Ti fork design to begin with, so we created a new 3D printed though-bolt dropout design that is lighter and stiffer than older plate dropouts, secures the wheels better than quick releases, and looks beautiful.The result is a versatile, light, elegant, and modern All Road bike with the simplicity of caliper rim brakes.Really, no one was asking? No one was asking!?! Have we not established I have been lamenting the disappearance of the rim brake road bike for years now? WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER!?!Also, lets take a look at the brakes:Holy crap, is that price for each? (Sorry, I now youre supposed to say per wheel, whatever) If so, thats ALMOST EIGHT HUNDRED FUNTIX FOR A SET OF RIME BREAKS!!! Rim brakes are about elegance and simplicity (according to me, the Official Arbiter of All Things Rim Brake), and theres nothing elegant or simple about an ugly-ass set of brakes that costs as much as an entire top-of-the-line Meh-roica bike on the used market.Also, apparently its a modified Brompton brake. Hopefully the bike is at least compatible with other less-ugly and less-expensive models of medium-reach brakewhich are still out there, even if there arent too many still in production. And if you need to get fancy there are always these:Or these:Neither of which are cheap, but both of which are a bargain compared to those eewBrakes.Still, even if it is compatible with normal brakes, it isnt compatible with normal skewers:Good quick releases are hard to find now, and dont work well with the Ti fork design to begin with, so we created a new 3D printed though-bolt dropout design that is lighter and stiffer than older plate dropouts, secures the wheels better than quick releases, and looks beautiful.Okay, Im sorry, thru-axles of any kind are NOT ALLOWED on rim brake bike. Theyre just not. And sure, I know things are bad, but in what dimension is it hard to find a good quick release?I dont think its possible to ask for a better quick release than that, and five seconds of search engine-ing suggests they remain readily available.And finally, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?I believe the bike is also compatible with a mechanical drivetrain. But it doesnt matter. Look, I have no problem with people riding whatever they want, be it crabon, or dick breaks, or electrical drivetrains, or any combination thereof. However, if youre making a bike that no one was asking for specifically to showcase how much you value the simplicity of rim brakes, then have some respect and GET THAT REMOTE CONTROLLED STUFF OFF OF THERE!!! So what does a proper medium-reach rim brake road bike look like?This!Tektro! 105! Quick release skewers front and rear, fully mechanical, and a steel frame of adequate construction.It is my Harrumph! to the world.

Heres a geography quiz:Which Of The Earths Great Rivers Is This?A) The GangesB) The MississippiC) The AmazonD) The Saw MillWell, if you answered D), youre correctand no doubt you did, too, because the mighty Saw Mill River is instantly recognizable to anybody anywhere in the world, even now when it is muddy and swollen from days of rain from the noreaster that has been sitting on our face since Saturday like a plus-sized commuter with a pantful of sweat on a subway train with a broken air conditioning.Yes, from its source in [Intern: look it up] this fabled waterway flows along the bike path until it eventually finds its way into the Hudson:Indeed, this is the very same bike path where only this past spring I ran afoul of some drunkards:If youre disinclined to read about it, the short version is that the winos gave me some crap, and so I did what any real man does, which is yell something really mean at them and then ride away quickly.For awhile after I steered clear of the Hobo Gauntlet, because they really did want to kill me, and I worried that next time I saw them theyd succeed in getting a hold of me, like when the bums get their revenge on Alex in A Clockwork Orange. Fortunately, the pickle jars that are their brains did not retain memory of the incident for long. In fact, now when I pass them, not only do they refrain from attacking me, but they actually give me a great big friendly drunken greeting, go figure.This is yet more proof (as though you even needed it) that there really is no problem so big that alcohol cant solve itjust as long as you dont consider spending your days and nights beneath an overpass on a suburban bike path a problem.But that was spring, and now its falland very suddenly, too. Any second now the trees will start to turn:And its already wool jersey weather:I received this jersey from Wabi Woolens three years ago now and its become one of my most trusted cycling garments. If youre looking for a wool jersey I highly recommend it, and dont let my misshapen torso dissuade you, because heres how it looks on a normal person:It really is luxurious!Also, if it looks a little twisted on me, thats only because I stopped to pick up a combination lock for my younger son and I think the weight of it is causing the jersey to sag a little.As for the fender line on the Milwaukee, I have no excuse for that:Still, it too is luxurious.Really, the only complaint I have about the Wabi Wollens jersey is that it doesnt have a dedicated pocket for the pet squirrel who I trained to check my tire pressure and perform other basic mid-ride maintenance tasks:This should not be confused with the chipmunk who changes my gears for me:[BK Jimmy]The Mammo-drive system appeared on this blog (or technically this one) so long ago I can no longer even find the post, but it prefigured Rotors ridiculous hydraulic group by many years, and in fact I suspect its where they got the idea:Not only that, but this was also years before AI, so consider this image a testament to human ingenuity.Anyway, after the ride I left the squirrel to clean the bike while I settled in for some aprs-cycle reading:And yes, I always read in cycling clothing, dont you?Thats the fourth installment of The Farbman Chronicles, of course, which Ive quite enjoyed:And speaking of made-to-order bicycles, if you couldnt get enough of last months MADE showNow theres the CRAFTED show:MADE, CRAFTEDwhats left, HEWN?I guess that would be an all-wooden bike show:As for CRAFTED, all I wanted to know was if there were any bikes with rim brakes, and it looks like there is one exhibitor who still uses them:[Rim brakes and disembodied hands? Maybe theres still hope]This inspired me to start my own rim brake-only bike show called RIMMED. However, when I went to register a URL every conceivable variation of the name was already in use by some kind of adult website. So I quickly abandoned the idea in favor of a new concept, which Im calling the THROWN TOGETHER show:By the way, did you know why the Homer is called what its called? Heres why, from OMP himself:Originally the A. Homer Hilsen was going to be the Honus Wagner (old time shortstop for the Pittsburgh Pirates, good hitter and fast runner despite his bow legs). I started collecting bits of Honus Wagner paraphernalia. The plan was to make 206 of them, only, because that was the number of H.W. baseball cards that made it into circulation back in the 19aughts. Only 206 because, as I remember from reading, these werent bubblegum cards; they were cigarette cards, and Honus was able to stop production, because he didnt think kids should smoke. They didnt instantly become collectible, and over the years most were lost, and then in recent decades one of those cards in great condition became worth millions. I think Wayne Gretsky bought the best one a while back, but I dont keep up, OK? Google it yourself.Anyway, I prudently looked into the legality or whatnot of naming a bike the Honus Wagner, and found out that a law firm then in Colorado was guarding his name, on behalf of two sisters, both HWs heirs, aand one of whom was named Linda Blair, if that name means anything to you. They received royalties from HW bobbleheads and coffee mugs that sold for $5 to $15 each. We at first made a deal, where wed pay $1,000 or so and offer the sisters the first prototypeso they could have a Honus Wagner bicycle. Wed already had the decals made and were working on the head badge. They said Yes at first (thru their lawyers), and all was going well until they sensed that wed reached a point of no return and were so invested in this that we couldnt turn back. So they then wanted access to our books, 24/7<they actually used that phraseand wanted to be able to buy as many HW bikes as they wanted at our cost. It was too weird and shifty and just too much, no thanks, so I changed the name to something I couldnt imagine was trademarked, and thats how it became the A. Homer Hilsen.I dont count sales, but Ill guess that weve sold about 2,700 of them, and I still ride the prototype the sisters never got.I think we can all agree that the name A. Homer Hilsen is a lot better than A. Habeas Corpus, which is what I would have called it had I found myself in that same predicament:Sorry, Im sure every time I use AI to generate an image I bring us all just a tiny bit closer to mass extinction, but its oddly addicting and I just cant help it.

It rained all weekend, and in fact its still raining, but fortunately I was prepared:Im still enjoying the new clicky shifters very much, though for the first time since installing them I did need to stop and make an adjustment, which is perfectly normal after everything settles. So I stopped at the side of the road in order to do so, twiddling away as a light and gentle rain fell. As I did this, a driver slowed, rolled down his window, and asked, Do you need anything, a bottle of water, maybe?It certainly was very kind of him to offer, and I really dont mean to sound ungrateful, but at the same time it was a little perplexing. If I appeared to be stranded with a broken bicycle I could see someone offering a tool or the use of a phone or even a ride if they were especially magnanimous (or a serial killer), and if it had been a scorching hot day and Id been sitting on the curb with my head in my hands I could also see the offer of a beverage to slake my thirst. But a bottle of water in the rain on a cool day was clearly of no use to me, and therefore struck me as sort of a weird thing to offer in the first place.Then again, when stopping to render aid its probably best to just offer something that you know the person will decline, or else is really easy to provide in the event that they do accept. Not too long ago I asked a couple of stopped riders if they needed anything and naturally would up repairing a flat for one of them, which to be honest was a real pain in the ass. Had I simply slowed and asked if they needed any water they would have declined and Said no, but and Id have been well on my way before I even heard the end of the sentenceor, had they said yes, I could have thrown my water bottle at them and then kept going.In short: when offering help to stranded cyclists, avoid open-ended questions. Dont ask, Do you need anything? Instead ask, Do you need a calculator?, or Can I offer you a can opener? This will save you a considerable amount of time whilst keeping your karma intact.Unless theyre struggling to open a can of fruit cocktail.But yes, the LoNo drivetrain is working wonderfully:Speaking of which, over a week or so now a reader left the following comment:This elicited a reply from Old Man Petersen himself:BUT!I only just noticed today that the reply seemed to have wound up in the Disqus spam folder. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps the words free, eBay, Etsy, and offer expires triggered their algorithm or whatever. So Ive un-spammed it, but now the offer has long since expired, and I dont know if it still stands, or if the original poster even saw it. But this was technically my fault*, so to the original poster, if youre reading this, feel free to drop me a line and Ill see if theres anything I can do.As for the rest of you, dont get any ideas, and just because this guy may have won the kvetching lottery that doesnt mean youre also going to critique your way into free stuff.*[Related: every so often I get an email from someone wondering what happened to their comment. Please note that Disqus has a mind of its own. I do my best to regularly check the various folders where these things wind up and approve them as necessary, but sometimes I miss something. So please forgive me, and also please keep in mind that, while I deeply value your commentary, I also didnt start a bike blog in order to do work.]Meanwhile, last week I addressed alt-cycling. In so doing, I also pondered for like two seconds whether I belonged to any particular category of cyclist. Of course I really dont care about any of that, but apparently there are people who do care so much that they write entire articles about it:Im not sure he answers the question posed in the headline, but he does successfully prove that introspection and self-awareness are not the same thing:Theres a lot of talk these days about lowering the barriers to entry in cycling, and while we may not all agree on just how low they should go, I think most of us will concede you shouldnt need to read a book called Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior to fully understand your relationship with your GRVL bike:Anthropologically speaking, community is, and has been, everything. Through virtually any lens, youll see it at the center of our well-being, decision-making, religion, and our species evolution. What started as a survival requirement has evolved into groups of people who share common interests and values. Sharing interests makes us relatable, and experts say that sense of belonging is crucial to our well-being. Psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, in their book Intrinsic Motivation and Self-Determination in Human Behavior, talk about three basic human needs that must be met for sustained motivation: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.Wait, Im sorry, am I reading a bike website or a Sarah Lawrence College undergraduate course catalog?Either way, this is a person who really seems to care what other people think:When my ego starts to creep in, I think back to a mountain bike clinic led by a local rider, Lindsey Gosnell. One of her first pieces of advice when considering tackling a new feature was to take a moment to ask yourself whether youre doing it because you want to or because of peer pressure or another outside influence. For me, its often the latter.And its strange how sometimes the people who try hardest not to be judgmental wind up being the most judgmental:These days, the self-titled alt cyclists should be the ones fighting against these expectations, but theyre failing. Being anti-mountain bike or anti-gravel bike is cliquey in its own way, and it paints an unrealistic picture of what it means to be alternative. I prefer our agnostic approach to running this website, which leaves us curious about everything, rather than bashing certain styles of riding, dressing, packing, or being. You dont need to run a front basket and wear no helmet to convey your disdain for larger cycling cliques. Just do what feels right. But, for what its worth, I dont believe not wearing a helmet makes you alt. Rather, it simply puts you at a higher risk for brain injuries.Setting aside the helmet debate, alt cyclists are at extremely low risk for brain injuries since they rarely exceed speeds of 8mph, and they spend 75% of the ride off the bike and engaged in either the preparation of coffee or the consumption of cannabis.As for labels, in the real world nobody cares about this stuff 95% of the time, though 5% of the time they do come in handy when you want to break someones balls.I mean does anyone actually take any of this seriously? For example, when I say mountain bikers are the worst, I dont mean all of them, I just mean almost all of them. And most cyclists have a sense of humor, thats why parody sites like these are so popular:Ostensibly Im writing a humorous blog here, and maybe youll even find a laugh or two here in all the drivel, but Im in awe of how each of the above sites can be so consistently hilarious on a daily basis:I recently finished testing the brilliant new Canyon Grail CF SLX, which in its Shimano GRX Di2 guise retails for a very impressive 3,899 / $4,999 / 3,999.That got me thinking, has Canyon just returned to its roots as an impressively priced online bike retailer, or is it shifting to be more competitive against the rise of Chinese brands?The latest Winspace aero gravel bike, the G5 Gravel Plus, costs 4,240 with mechanical GRX. The Di2 version is available in the UK for 4,520. That makes Canyons wonderfully capable new gravel racer a better value proposition than Winspaces market-disrupting offering.What is impressive exactly about a Canyon that costs Five Thousand American Fun Tickets? Also, what is a value proposition, and how is that different from a value? And before you answer, yes, I did look it up:Value: Is experienced and perceived subjectively by the customer.Value Proposition: Is crafted and declared proactively by the business.Okay, so value is justvalue, whereas value proposition is a line of complete bullshit.So just say value.Finally, speaking of years of blogging, heres proof from 2008 that very large wheels are nothing new:Remember: you saw it here first.

Popular culture rarely if ever gets cycling right, as some of our most insightful film critics have pointed out:However, last night I happened to be watching the new e-bike episode of South Park, and was amused to note that they did an excellent job sending up the middle-aged Fred, or MAMIL, if you prefer:I mean okay, fine, if were going to nitpick then youd be unlikely to see this many non-aero brake levers outside of LEroica or maybe one of those alt-cycling events:But they really did nail a lot of it, including the indignant rants about e-bikes in the bike lanes, and the clickety-clack cleat walk across the kitchen floor:It was also a pretty entertaining and clever look at the whole e-bike thing in general, which in turn made me wonder how Colorados free e-bike program is going.In 2021 it was going to slow climate change somehow:And in 2023 the smuggies told us wed see mass migration to cities with similar programs:Well, its 2026, so youd expect that by now wed be a country of climate refugees and e-bike migrants, and that wed all be wandering across the country with bindles on our shoulders looking for water and free electric bicycles. Well, that hasnt really happened. But Colorados free e-bike program does seem to be going well:Its all a little confusing, but it seems like some guy managed to make over Six Million American Fun Tickets, which have now been seized by the FBI along with his Lamborghini:Hey, they said free e-bikes were going to get cars off the road, so maybe theyre right, since it sounds like theres now at least One Less Lambo on the streets of Denver.Speaking of cars, even in the e-bike age they remain the number one scourge of cyclists, though sometimes its the cyclists themselves who are the worst drivers:Or the best ones, depending on how you look at it:It looks like we have Rally Championships in Montreal instead of Cycling Championships Captured by borrdrou #Montreal2026 pic.twitter.com/YvtHeAvJup Luk Ronald Lukcs (@lucxsronald) September 24, 2026Nicely done.Finally, Ive long chronicled the condition known as JBARA-itis (or technically inflammation of the Just Buy A Rivendell Already), and recently I came across evidence that I myself was suffering from the condition as far back as 2013:Fortunately I found safe and effective treatment:Though be careful, because it may be habit-forming:So if youre looking for a comfortable and versatile bicycle for riding on all types of terrain, consult your doctor and ask if Rivendell is right for you.

I play a number of roles in life: father, husband, former semi-professional bike blogger turned gentleman wordsmith of leisure Theyre all pretty important, too. But when it comes to sheer responsibility, none of them comes close to my official position as the Classic Cycle Old Crap Test Pilot.Alas, I am deeply ashamed to say that of late I have been guilty of dereliction of duty. See, my current mission is to test this 1999 GT XCR 1000, seen here when I first received it back in April of this year:I began testing it immediately, though there were a couple of obstacles I needed to overcome. Specifically, I needed to lengthen the front derailleur cable housing, and I needed to overhaul the rear shock:Just kidding!Commanding Officer Paul Johnson at Classic Cycle overhauled the shock. I didnt do crap.With all that done, I resumed testingthough I havent been on it for at least a month. Or could it be two months?!? Im not certain, which is exactly why I should be keeping a journal. Anyway, between the lapse in testing and the wanton disregard for journaling you now see what I mean when I say Im a derelict in the duty department. Still, I do have my reasons, even if they are pretty feeble. For one thing, last time I rode the bike it was making a noise, so I told myself Id look into it as soon as I had time, which I never did, even though I did subsequently find the time to overhaul both the Farman and the Homer. For another, I must admit Im generally disinclined to go mountain biking during the dog days of the summer, when its hot and muggy and the woods feel like an Amazonian rainforest and youre riding around with a halo of mosquitoes. In fact even Very Small Rocks riding can be unpleasant for this reason, which is why I invented the concept of the GVL LZRD:But now autumn is approaching and recently the air has been cool, with even a hint of crispness, in that way that makes you thing of stuff like school supplies and cyclocross. Also, as it happens, I had to use THE CAR THAT I OWN AND STORE FOR FREE IN THE PUBLIC RIGHT OF WAY this morning. So yesterday morning I donned my uniform:And made for the Forbidding Trails Behind The Mall:Mind you, I had still not addressed the noise, but either it somehow fixed itself or I was having too much fun to noticeand I was having fun, quite a bit of it in fact. Maybe it was just the weather, or the fact that I hadnt been properly off-road in awhile, or probably both, but the whole ride from beginning to end was almost preternaturally pleasant. So what about the bike, certainly that must have been a factor, right? Well, Ill say this much: it certainly didnt get in the way. Really, I didnt think about the bike at all. I didnt think about 26-inch versus 29-inch wheels, I didnt think about turn-of-the-century geometry versus that of today, and I didnt think about rime breaks versus dicks. I didnt even think about suspension versus rigid, how about that? I just rode the bike that was under me and it worked.Well, okay, fine, thats not completely true. I did kind of think it would be fun to try the GT with a 1X drivetrain, like an Advent X or something:So after bemoaning the loss of the front derailleur recently does this make me a hypocrite? Nowell, I mean yes, Im obviously a giant hypocrite, but not because of that. Not only was I specifically talking about road bikes (which is where the front derailleur truly shines), but also I was using 1X drivetrains on mountain bikes back when you still had to make them yourself:But yes, on one hand putting a modern drivetrain on an old bike would be counter to the spirit of the exercise: Yet on the other hand isnt exploring the extent to which you can update an older bicycle in order keep it going in the modern era part and parcel of the Old Crap Test Pilots mission?I dunno.But I do know changing the drivetrain would require a modest amount of money as well as a modest amount of work, so it probably wont be happening in the immediate future.All I know that as the weather continues to cool and a busy autumn forces me to drive Ill certainly be sneaking in more rides on the test-cycle.Speaking of drivetrains, Id actually go out of my way to avoid both 14-speed and electronic, but Id also make an exception just to use one called Whaleroad:Yes, Whaleroad is in fact a 1X drivetrainWhaleroad says its 114-speed cassette offers a 418 per cent gear range, spanning from an 11-tooth smallest sprocket to a 46-tooth largest sprocket.The cassette fits a conventional Shimano HG freehub body, meaning theres no change needed to proprietary standards.Squeezing the extra gears into that space has seen the cogs on the bottom of the block become significantly narrower.and not Raphas new line for plus-sized riders, as youd naturally expect. Indeed, Raphas failure to capitalize on this market could be why their CEO has resigned:Now theyll be making significant organiZational changes to reduce cost:To support that, the business will make significant organisational changes to reduce cost and drive efficiency, and those changes call for a different governance and leadership structure. With that in mind, I proposed to the board that I step down as CEO.What Rapha really needs to do is the equivalent of killing the front derailleur, so perhaps they can reduce their offering to a single one-size-fits-all bodysuit:It could be unisex, good for all weather, and you wouldnt even need to spend extra for socks or gloves:They should make me CEO, Ill right that ship in no time. When were flush with cash Ill then introduce an alt-cycling line called Ralfalpha:The Little Rascals were the original Alt-Cyclists.

Not too long ago I gave this bike a tune-up:Which elicited the following comment:I dont know how you do it, but youve managed to take that beautiful Homer frame and build it with the scabbiest collection of parts bin detritus that it is so fugly it must be completely theft proof.To be absolutely clear, I am not highlighting this comment because I am any way bothered or offended. On the contrary, I quite enjoy a little good-natured ribbing from a regular reader and commentatoratorand even if it hadnt been good-natured and someone was actually trying to hurt my feelings it would be kind of sad if they succeeded in doing so by saying they didnt like the way my bicycle looked. Calling someones bicycle ugly is a lot different than calling an actual person uglythough Ill try not to dwell too much on the fact that, like dogs, bicycles do tend to resemble their owners, and I suppose I too am often clad in a scabby collection of parts bin detritus.But no, I enjoyed the comment, and Ive certainly acknowledged the fact that the more time a bike spends with me the uglier it gets. In fact, thats exactly why Im highlighting itbecause bicycle appearance and our collective obsession with it is an entertaining subject, and I take pride in what I choose to consider a practical approach to cycling, even if the truth is its probably less about practicality and more about my suffering from some sort of mild cognitive defect when it comes to aesthetics and bicycles. Like, this is me trying my absolute hardest:I mean I think it looks fantastic. In fact, I tried so hard I even managed not to leave a gap behind the brake levers when I wrapped the bars, and that never happens:Also, as far as the fit and the ride and the way all the parts work together, the bike iswell I dont like to use the word perfect, but whenever I circle back to it I immediately enter into a state of deep contentment:But sure, theres still plenty to nitpick, and a true aesthete would have gone much further. They would have used a classier saddle, and a silver crank. Maybe the tape would even match that classy saddle, and theyd finish it with twine. As for me, I cant really make myself care about that stuff enough to pursue it. If I already have a part and it works Ill go for that first, and if theres a roll of electrical tape handy you can be sure Im using it. My brain is simply not wired for, say, this sort of thing, which I saw on Karl Farbmans Facial Book page:Like, never would it occur to me to get a custom stem so it matched the top of my headset:We asked Rob English to build us a custom stem that allows the front brake cable to enter through the front of the stem, run internally, and exit from the underside directly above the front brake. Besides cleaning everything up considerably, it meant we could eliminate the traditional cable hanger underneath the stem and get the stem lower.We also had Rob build it for a 1 1/8 steerer and used a shim underneath so the outside diameter of the stem would match up much better with the top of the Chris King headset.Its a tiny detail. Its also exactly the kind of detail that can completely change a bike.Oh, sure, Ill read all that, then Ill look at the Farbman of which I am currently custodianand Ill note there are like fifteen different diameters happening:Ill even register that it sort of resembles the neck rings worn in certain parts of the world:[Photo: Steve Evans]But the crucial difference here is that Ill do absolutely nothing about it.And yes, obviously the correct portmanteau for a flat-bar Farbman would be Flarbmanand dont think I havent thought about putting Choco bars on mine:[The Homer, before it met with the ugly stick.]So does my casual disregard for aesthetics coupled with my upright bar flirtation make me an alt cyclist? I turned to an anthropological study of that particular subculture to find out:Well, I certainly have been thoroughly brainwashed by Grant Petersen in many respects:Ask a cyclist about alt-cycling and theyll likely mention all-terrain bikes, plainclothes rides, frame bags, and bikepacking. They may credit former Bridgestone bike designer Grant Petersen, who started the revered Rivendell Bicycle Works (based in Walnut Creek), with popularizing a more laid-back style of riding less about speed than comfort and camaraderie and the bikes that accommodate it. Devotees invoke athletic and financial approachability and an anti-tech nostalgia.Though Ive never ridden from San Francisco to Los Angeles whilst free-bleeding:This loose ethos has spawned a media ecosystem that includes magazines, zines, and the Path Less Pedaled(opens in new tab) YouTube channel, which represents a more accessible vision of riding. Marshalls Low Pressure Zine is punk Groves recalls reading a womans first-person account of riding her bike from San Francisco to L.A. while free-bleeding on her seat the whole time.If youre unfamiliar with free-bleeding, its the brakeless fixed-gear of menstruating.The real question is was she using a Brooks, and if so was it covered?On one hand, this seems counter to what free-bleeding is all about (at least according to my five seconds of research), but on the other youd probably cover your Brooks if it rains so whats the difference, really?And yes, given my genderway I probably shouldnt be opining on the ethos of free-bleeding, but let the record reflect that I was a menstrual cup influencer before it was cool:Even so, I dont think I qualify as an alt cyclist, because theres no way Im cool enough:As we descended back toward the bridge, I considered the implications. If the concept of a fred exists in alt-cycling, is it really more welcoming than conventional cycling? Or does it just have a different set of ways to be cool and corresponding ways to kook it? I never thought Leibow and his friends were judging me they were really nice when I apologized for lagging on the climbs but I felt lost, disoriented.At best I exist in some profoundly uncool and nebulous region somewhere between Fred-dom, Alt-Cycledom, and Lone Wolf-dom.And Im perfectly content here all by myself.I mean Ive got multiple Rivendae and a Farbman, how could I not be?

Further to yesterdays post about atonement, it included the following AI-generated image:.People find AI frightening and dystopian, but I think it would be a lot less intimidating if we simply referred to it as Fausse Intelligence.Though no matter what you call it this guy lurking in the crowd is going to haunt my dreams forever:Im pretty sure I met that guy in Portland with Stevil in like 2009.Also haunting my dreams in an Out, damned spot type of way is this faint stain on the bike path, which youll see in the lower right of the photo below:Thats liquid SPOG, and its now been there for nine (9) months, though blizzards, flash floods, heatwaves, and everything else Mother Nature has thrown at it. Here it is from back when it was fresh:And yes, thats the same stain, youre just looking at it from the opposite directionHere is the puncture that caused it:And while the glass that caused that puncture is long gone, fortunately the drunks who hang out on the bike path are constantly replenishing it, and there were plenty of fresh shards as of yesterday:Fortunately, the farther from the city you get the less glass you encounter, though youre increasingly likely to encounter obstructions of the ungulate variety:So it wouldWait for itbe-HOOVE you to be careful.Speaking of SPOG, I eventually sold the PRJCT GRVL bike in April:I enjoyed my time with it, but the Roadini is sufficiently gravel-able for my needs while also being better suited to all the non-gravel (or I suppose technically processed gravel) roads in between, as well as being generally attuned to my mechanical sensibilities:It also has a front derailleur, a component we all know is on borrowed time:Why? Because it creates excessive cognitive load, which is a polite way of saying its too much of a strain on the modern riders feeble intellect:But theres also another advantage. Cognitive load is the unspoken piece that actually created change on gravel, and its not always something people think about. Unlike gravel, on a road ride its easy to look at the cassette, or your computer, and manage what gear you are in. Modern groupsets can also, in theory, handle cross-chaining without too much complaint. That leaves it as merely a question of marginal gains. It might be easy enough to deal with a front chainring but what if you didnt have to? Up or down, easy or hard, thats it. There is no cross-chaining, just decide what change you want at any moment during a ride. Thats an advantage.Oh please. Cognitive load? This is just a load. If you can handle having more than one light switch in your home you can handle front and rear shifting. If we took this same approach to interior lighting youd just have a single dimmer that controlled every light in the entire house. But its not just the high cognitive load tripping the circuit in the modern Freds brain. It also isnt practical:The problem is that accessing those extra gears isnt practical. The first issue is that no one jumps around between the front chainrings to optimize cadence. When you ride a bike, you generally stick to the large chainring and you shift across the cassette. At a certain point, you change from the big front to the small front and you continue the progressionIm sorry WHAT? You dont shift front chainrings to optimize cadence? Of course you do, which is why 1x systems can be so annoying on the road. Heres how it works: you get to a hill, you drop into the little ring, you climb to the top, you shift back up into the big ring. This is way more practical than shifting across an entire 12-cog (or 13, is that where we are now?) cassette. I mean yes, I get that were now in the electronic age, and you can just press and hold your blip like a preschooler smashing the like button on a Baby Shark video, but still, being able to make that jump when you need to is way more efficient than the (LOL) 1.4-watt savings you get from ditching a front derailleur according to the article. Plus, any Fred worth his PNS jersey is using a front derailleur fairing anyway:So wait. A front derailleur adds 1.4 watts, but a front derailleur fairing saves 5.8 watts? If five gets ya ten, tenll get ya twenty. I love Fred math!But objectively speaking hes absolutely right, and the front derailleur is most definitely on borrowed time, because theres no way theyll let something so simple and effective stick around.

Today is Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, so consider this a non-post in observation of and deference to this holy occasion.[The Shofar can be slippery, so consider giving it the Rivendell treatment by wrapping yours in Newbaums.]Unfortunately, being just an all-around exemplary person, I have little to nothing for which to atone. The bicycle industry and the cycling community (blech) at large is a whole other story. So heres an incomplete list of their sins, transgressions, and shortcomings, and I trust they will spend the day in solemn reflection and groveling for forgiveness for the following at the very least:Jerseys That Say PNS On ThemRampant Anti-Rim BrakeismCrippling Battery DependenceWhile Were At It, Canyon BicyclesWhile Were At It, GRVL**[Please note I mean GRVL, not gravel. Gravel is just Very Small Rocks and inherently neither good nor bad. GRVL is a never-ending consumerist fever dream and an unprovoked assault on vowels that has spread like a persistent diaper rash from cycling to all outdoor lifestyle activities.]Front Derailleur-phobiaIntegrated Cockpits, Talking About Integrated Cockpits, Nitpicking About The Many Drawbacks Of Integrated Cockpits When Its Too Late And Really All Your Fault Anyway Because Youve Been Enabling These Companies For Years, Etc.Endless Show Coverage Of Overcomplicated Custom Bicycles With 32-Inch Wheels And Ironic Brand Names And Photos Of Them Next To Their Hipster Builders[The AIs take on Endless Show Coverage Of Overcomplicated Custom Bicycles With 32-Inch Wheels And Ironic Brand Names And Photos Of Them Next To Their Hipster Builders. Not bad. This blog should be running completely on autopilot before Christmas.]Its a hellscape out there and you should all be deeply ashamed of yourself.I Love You,Tan TenovoXOXO

As a former semi-professional bike blogger and current gentleman wordsmith, I understand that people turn to this particular bullshit depository for a host of reasons, and very near the bottom of that list is in-depth product reviews, though I will continue to update you on how Im getting along with The Worlds Most Niche-iest* Shifter whether you like it or not:*[Thats Niche-iest as in extremely niche, not Of or relating to the philosophies of Friedrich Nietzschethough I suppose it could also be The Worlds Most Nietzsche-iest Shifter, I know nothing about him.]So far in indexed mode with the LoNo OM-1 rear derailleur the performance has been exemplary, having been battle-tested on the notorious proving ground that is the post-gentrification New York City streetscape by a hardened urban cycling veteran, and since the initial setup, which was quite easy, I have not had to so much as touch a barrel adjuster:By the way, LoNo OM-1 sounds ironically high-tech given that all this stuff is supposed to be about a return to simplicity, but this is cycling, and unless you make components sound highly technological and borderline incomprehensible then nobody will want to use them. Friction shifting? No thanks. LoNo detent-free multi-ratio transmission? Yes, please!But yes, the point of the OM-1 shifters is that it works perfectly with the OM-1 derailleur in indexed mode, whereas a Shimano indexed shifter is a YMMV-type thing. As I mentioned previously, while I did get Shimano shifters to work very well with an OM-1 derailleur on the Farbman, it did take a fair amount of fine-tuning at first. I wondered if maybe that was just because I was using older drivetrain components, but a couple days ago I gave the Farbster a brand new chain:The installation of a smooth and grime-free chain required me to fine-tune the cable tension once again, and once again it did take a fair amount of trial and error to get things just right; basically, its a little tricky to get the cable tension so that its not too low on the low gears/large cogs (in which case it runs noisily) and not too high on the large gears/small cogs (in which case downshifting is recalcitrant). So basically the OM-1 shifter is definitely better with the OM-1 derailleur, but the Shimano ones work well enough that if I hadnt actually tried an OM-1 I wouldnt have realized what I was missing and got along just fine, kind of like how I could see acceptably but then got a pair of reading glasses and was like, Hey, this is even better!OK, AI, do your thing:Am I really supposed to believe the same technology that created that image is also going to destroy humanity?I guess well find out.Speaking of research, did you know track cyclists defy the laws of physics or something?Well they dont actually, but whatever:They found that the apparent paradox is explained by a brief whole-body backward-then-forward movement before and during gate release, which transfers momentum to the bicycle. Riders shift their body mass backward, then rapidly forward, and slowing that forward body motion creates a powerful forward push on the bike. The results showed that this body-driven impulse dominates the first roughly 0.2 seconds, right before pedaling becomes the main source of acceleration.This may sound cartoonish, but in fact its highly scientific. Indeed, researchers were able to observe this effect by placing a sumptuous avian repast in the middle of a desert road along with a sign reading Free Bird Seed. They then attempted to eat the hungry track cyclist:This causes the track cyclist to flee, at which point you can observe the whole-body backward-then-forward movement here:Researchers then went on to analyze the manner in which crash impact is distributed through the body:Its likely that based on these results the researchers will recommend the UCI adopt full-body accordion suits, though these should be worn vertically instead of horizontally as is currently the custom:So in attempting to entice his prey with a meal and becoming an aerophone in the process, did the Coyote suffer food justice? No, silly, thats not what this means. Food Justice is when the delivery app industry steals your bike lanes: And yes, I realize that sounds deeply cynical. People depend on these apps to make a living and they deserve to be safe. At the same time, if you dont deliver things for a living, its hard not to feel just a little bit resentful:The idea of a bike network as I recall it was to make cyclists safer, which would in turn narrow the gender gap and encourage more people to ride in New York Cityespecially women, who historically dont:The gap between male and female bike riders is a concern for cities across the nation, but in New York this gap has narrowed every year since 2003, and female bike ridership is actually increasing at a faster rate than male ridership.The risk of serious injury or death to commuter cyclists in New York City has dropped by 75 percent in the last decade. The fact that cycling has become safer over the last 10 years is indisputable, but we need to make more progress. Innovations like protected bike lanes are bringing even better safety results for everyone who bikes, walks or drives on our streets.That was from 2011.But instead the bike lanes became mini Major Deegan Expressways, and theyre full of men on electric motorcycles. Furthermore, the current urbanist view is that this should be official policy:Bike lanes are now a permanent part of how New York feeds itself. The Streets Plan due this fall should recognize that reality plainly: the city must design, fund, and govern bike lanes as food, labor, and transportation infrastructure. The food is already moving through these lanes. The workforce is already using them as a workplace. Now the city needs a Streets Plan that treats both as essential.I suppose this was inevitable, since in New York City everything must ultimately yield to commerce, that being what the city was founded upon after all. (The article is written in progressive doublespeak, but this is really about commerce.) And maybe the early 21st century notion of a bike network full of elegantly attired cosmopolitan woman was even a little naive and elitist:Oh well. Ultimately the fate of the bike lanes belongs to whos using them. I just wish theyd stop calling them bike lanes and come up with a new name for themthough we still say we dial our phones, so I guess I should just get used to it.

Further to yesterdays post, the A. Homer Hilsen is now running beautifullyso beautifully that the very next morning I decided to commute to Brooklyn on it:As Ive mentioned, I commute to and from Brooklyn twice a week. The distance is a bit under 20 miles each way, and its an ideal bike commute in the sense that probably something like 80% of the route is on fully separated bike paths. At first I rode exclusively, though it takes longer than mass transit (I simply cannot maintain a civilized pace and match the subway over that distance), and so now I only ride occasionally, when the weather is perfect and I feel like treating myself. Speaking of the route, I noticed something odd recently, which is that if you use a popular search engines mapping application and ask for bike directions between my home and my office it sends you across the East River via the ferry:This is extremely puzzling to me since the two bridges pictured have deluxe bike paths, so why would it tell you to pay a fare and ride a boat instead? Either this is some scheme to drum up business for the NYC Ferry, or else this is an implicit admission that in the age of micromobility riding over the bridges has become too dangerous:Or maybe its just a dumb computer trying to save you a minute and a half, what do I know?Anyway, directions are mostly irrelevant, since I know exactly where Im going, including exactly where to take rests, if you understand what I mean:This underscores the profound difference between active transportation and passive transportation. If you arrive at work via active transportation (e.g. cycling), youve probably urinated publicly at least once, and youve probably almost been killed at least twice. Conversely, if you arrive at work via passive transportation (e.g. the subway), youve probably seen someone urinating publicly at least once, and youve probably seen someone almost kill somebody else at least twice. Also, when you commute via passive transportation, you are often surrounded by people who smell, whereas when you commute via active transportation the smelly person is you.Heading down to Brooklyn, the ride is mostly peacefulnot in the ironic this protest is really beautiful if you ignore the rampant looting and arson sense, but in the actual this ride is really pleasant and relaxing sense:However, approaching midtown I remembered something, which is that cyclists dont stop at lights. They just dont. To prove it, I stopped at this light and watched as nobody else did. It doesnt matter if theyre in stretchy clothes on a road bike:Or in street clothes on a Citi Bike:It also doesnt matter if there are pedestrians in the crosswalk, which at this moment there werent, but at other moments there were.And no, Im not saying I am a slavish adherent to the tyranny of the traffic light. Certainly I too have been known to take a liberal interpretation when it comes to these beacons when they take on a reddish hue. But I at least slow down first. Of course, on a path like this its not really about the color of the lights anyway, which is largely incidental. Its about yielding to pedestrians and letting them use the crosswalk, light or no light. For example, I was particularly vexed by a middle-aged Fred in a MAAP jersey who cut off some pedestrians as they tried to us a crosswalk similar to this one:They were just stepping into it, and so I slowed as I approached to let them cross. However, past my left shoulder sped a middle-aged Fred in a MAAP jersey. (Its always either a MAAP jersey or a PNS jersey, which is ironic because most of these people couldnt find their own PNS with even with a MAAP.) Not only did he make no attempt to slow down, but as he cut them off he chided themI dont remember his exact words, but his point was that they were stupid to cross because they only would have had to wait for the red light once they got to the other side.Uh, sorry, no, MAAP-tard. Its a crosswalk. Theyre entitled to use it, and they have the right of way when they do. If they want to cross and then wait for the light when they get to the other side thats their business. Furthermore, once the light changes they only have so much time to get across the West Side Highway, which is six lanes wide. So why would they wait on the far side of the crosswalk and add the extra crossing distance? And most significantly, the pedestrians no doubt know all too well that if they wait for the light to change 20 more MAAP-tards will come along, fail to yield, and prevent them from crossing anyway. But sure, buzz them and then tell them off because you need to get back to your Tribeca apartment in time for the morning Zoom meeting after doing your laps in Central Park.But other than that the path was lovely, though once I was downtown I left it and hit the streets in order to head across to the Manhattan Bridge:Ah, micromobility Little Amazon cargo bikes are much better than big Amazon trucks, right? Well, yes and no. Sure, in theory theyre better, but in practice theyre sized perfectly to completely plug up the bike lane. Ironically, the trucks are almost better, since when they stop in the bike lane you just ride around them, whereas if theres a cargo bike in the bike lane and motor vehicles in the motor vehicle lane youre completely stuck. You know those puzzles that are a bunch of tiles and an empty space and you slide the tiles around in order to arrange them properly? These things are like adding one more tile and closing the space so nothing can move at all.Another problem with micromobility is that street bikes are disappearing. This is a shame, because street bikes are one of the few interesting things left in battery-powered, hyper-gentrified, 21st century New York City. But theyre not all gone yet, and if youre a bike dork theres always something locked to a pole or a bike rack that will turn your head:I was tempted to leave a note on that Vitus offering to buy it just so I could rotate the handlebar back down, though I suppose I could have saved some money by simply rotating the bar down and leaving a note in which I explained why I did it. Also, its a scientific fact that 50% off New York City street bikes are bonded aluminum Treks, so this is a perfect cross-section. In fact, between the bonded aluminum Trek and the milk crate this is as New York as it gets, and the only thing missing was Ratso Rizzo smacking the hood of a yellow cab and brusquely informing the driver that hes perambulating.Heading back home that evening, there was plenty of Brooklyn-bound bike (and sundry) traffic on the Manhattan Bridge:On several occasions riders in full-face helmets on high-powered stand-up scooters came at me head-on as they passed people, but I didnt take any photos, because I didnt want to die:I guess theres always the ferry.Between the commuters and all the people doing their evening workouts the bike path was also quite crowded, though this afforded me the opportunity to admire some truly impressive shoaling formations:Im way too lazy to find where, but I recall years back someone somewhere in the bike media insisting shoaling was distinctly male behavior. I objected to thisnot because Im a male, but because I literally invented the term after being shoaled by a woman. In fact in my experience males and females are both equally likely to shoal you, and just as every street bike formation is at least 50% bonded aluminum Treks, this shoal is 50% female.Besides the additional bike traffic, the other major difference between my morning and evening commutes is that in the evening in order to get home I have to ride up very steep climbs in a dark forest:Fortunately I had my headlight:By the way, the Homer was fantastic as it usually is, which is no surprise. But whats more noteworthy is that the new shifters were also fantastic, and even though Id only just installed them the evening before they were utterly flawless and I didnt have to so much as touch a barrel adjuster:And they dont even need batteries!