As a former Category 3 road racer (thats only two down from Category 1!) I should probably know this, but what is a Zone 2 ride, and why would you want to wreck it?Also, as a former Category 3 road racer (thats only three down from PROFESSIONAL!) I knew that S-Works was Specializedsesess (thats an awkward word to make possessive) top-of-the-line race bike, but I had no idea they had wedged another tier in under that called S-Level:The $10,500 S-Level offers the top-of-the-line SRAM Red groupset and integrated cockpit, just like the $14,000 S-Works. But the frameset, wheelset, and saddle differ. The major difference is the frame: the S-Level gets the same carbon-fiber FACT 10r frame as the Expert and Comp. At 822 g for a 56 cm frame, the FACT 10r is 135 g heavier than the FACT 12r used on the S-Works. Despite the weight difference, Specialized says the FACT 10r offers the same stiffness and comfort characteristics as its lighter sibling. Along with the frame, different wheelsets and saddles make the S-Level 500 g heavier than the S-Works. With bottle cages, a Garmin mount, and my preferred Shimano XTR XC PD-M9200 MTB pedals, the S-Level I tested weighed in at 7.98 kg. By way of comparison, my own road bikea Gen 8 Trek Madoneweighs in at 7.71 kg.I had trouble following that, so I fed it through an AI text-to-speech thingy, and this is what I heard:Sounds about right. The S-Level thing is clever though, because first you shock-and-awe customers with the insanely high S-Works price, then you hit them with the merely staggeringly high S-Level price, then you do a little gram-counting three-card monte, and magically it becomes a bargain.But what really sets this bike apart from previous iterations of the Tramac is the Win Fin, and hold on to your chamois because its a real game-changer!But the most visually striking change is the Win Fin. As the seat tube rises from the bottom bracket, it deviates from the vertical to follow the curve of the wheel as it approaches the seat stays. When riding with just a single water bottle on the downtubecommon in pro races where a full bottle is just a team car awaySpecialized claims Win Fin saves riders half a watt.Half a watt?!?Did I really just read that?I guess this is so middle-aged dudes with empty nests and disposable incomes can get home a fraction of a second faster:There are a few nits to pick. The reach to the brakes in the drops felt excessive on my first couple of rides, and I had to adjust them slightly to brake easily on descents. Also, I would prefer shorter cranks on the Tarmac. The trend among professional riders has been toward shorter cranks because it makes holding an aero position easier and reduces hip and knee flexion. To its credit, Specialized reduced the crank length from 172.5 mm on the 56 cm SL8 to 170 mm on the same-sized SL9, but I run 165 mm cranks on my road bikes and noticed the difference on the S-Level. One demographic that buys expensive road bikes is middle-aged dudes with empty nests and disposable incomes, and they are the ones most likely to appreciate shorter cranks.Hey, wait a minute: if shorter cranks is the trend among professional riders then why are middle-aged dudes with empty nests and disposable incomes the ones most likely to appreciate it?Oh, wait, I think I know the answer: because they want to copy the pros, right? By the way, Im not impugning MADWENADI (thats middle-aged dudes with empty nests and disposable incomes) in any way. In fact, I very much aspire to be a member of that demographic, and Ive already achieved one (1) out of the three (3) qualifiers. (I expect to hit the second and third when my kids move out, get rich, and start supporting me.) So if you want to ride around on a $10,500 S-Level then you absolutely should, because by golly youve earned iteven though the S-Level really isnt as good as the S-Works, the reviewers rationalization notwithstanding, which I feel compelled to mention because Im bitter and spiteful and I know that it will constantly prey on the middle-aged S-Level riders mind.[The prompt was A middle-aged Specialized S-Level rider trying to convince his skeptical road riding buddies that his bike is just as good as an S-Works.]Sure, you can keep telling yourself its just as good as the S-Works, but deep down you know that if youd only spent the extra $3,500 youd have saved 135 grams.Also, as a middle-aged dude with empty nest and disposable income, I too ride around on way more bike than I need, and I too emulate the proseven if theyre the pros of 25 years ago:Though as a middle-aged dude with empty nest and disposable income I do gain a lot more from the triple than I would from a Win Fin.Speaking of getting old, I was watching one of Terry Barentsens latest videos, and say what you will about urban fixed-gear riding but at least the bikes remain as simple as ever:I mean sure, theres plenty of accessorizing, but the riders tend to reserve it for their own bodies:[When the alt bike is you.]However it all serves a practical purpose. For example, the lip ring is so his moustache doesnt fall off:Fixed-gear videography has also come a long way since the aughts:You may remember this as the one where they ride haplessly around the city and touch buses for some reason:It was truly the Citizen Kane of bus-touching movies:Mama mia, so much bus-touching!Nobody knows where this rider is now, but some say that shortly after the film he spent time in prison after being caught at a bus depot with his pants around his ankles.Hey, AI says its a thing:Mechanophilia was poorly understood in those days, but acceptance is increasing, and one day they may finally be able to marry the bus of their choice.Meanwhile, other members of the cast simply vanished, or else went on to fabricate completely new identities for themselves:Which is completely understandable when you took part in a movie in which the highlight was terrorizing a street fair as they were breaking it down:[Fixie bro shredding under a chuppah]Of course I didnt participate in any of that, because I was too busy trying to make urban cyclocross happen:Let the record reflect that when New York was in the grip of Fixie Insanity I was riding around on a bike with full fenders and cantilever brakes.Okay, and a Fixie, but at least it was grotesquely practicaland also had cantilever brakes:Yet despite my urban cycling bona fides youre all upset with me because I commuted on an e-bike one measly time! And thats fine. But how come nobody got upset when I tested an e-bikefrom Specialized no less?!?Was it because I at least rode a Platypus there?Still, that Specialized media orgy was easily the second-sleaziest thing I did after testing the Rock Shox Flight Attendant:Come to think of it I rode the Platypus to that too:In retrospect my choice of bike was obviously a physical manifestation of my guilty conscience.Still, in my defense, I did show those industry types real mountain biking, Forbidding Trails Behind The Mall-style:In retrospect, I believe both of those tests happened within like a couple of months of each other, and I believe they also represent the last time anyone in the mainstream bike industry reached out to me as though I were a legitimate media outlet.Oh well

Well, I dropped the Bargain Basement Bike off with a popular courier service yesterday, and its now officially off to Japan:I want to thank everyone who pitched in to help with the shipping costs, so I will:Thank you everyone who pitched in to help with the shipping costs.So are you wondering how much it costs to send a bike from New York City to Otawara, Japan? Well, the total came to $424.56, packing the bike in a standard cardboard bike box using Bikeflights. That sounds like a lotta fun tix, unless youve shipped a fair number bikes over the years like I have, in which case it doesnt sound like a lot. Of course theres always the possibility Ill get an email notifying me of an additional charge because I under-measured or something, which did happen to me once, but hopefully not this time. Also, I used the same box Paul used to ship me the Anti-Riv:[The Anti-Riv]Not only is the box fairly travel-worn, but I also left all the scrap newspaper in there that Paul had used for packing material:This, together with the fact that I didnt exactly wash and detail the bike, give the overall impression the package could contain flora that is a threat to the Japanese ecosystem, or a bunch of puppies, or both, so hopefully Japanese customs dont send it right into quarantine.Oh, and speaking of contributions, you may recall I said this:Im not creating some kind of charity thermometer thingy that shows how much money Ive collected, so if a bunch of people pitch in a crapload and I wind up with a million dollars I get to keep the change, which seems fair, since conversely if nobody pitches in at all then thats my problem and Ive got to cover shipping the bike to some British Columbian expat political extremist all myself. My point is, if you send me any money, be comfortable with the idea that youre doing it because Im the worlds greatest living bike blogger and an exemplary person, and that the money could potentially go to something other than shipping the bike, such as feeding my kids or buying dental floss or something.In the spirit of full disclosure, because you are all so generous, I did wind up collecting more than it cost to ship the bike. How much more? Well, not enough for me to retire, but to put it in terms the modern American consumer can understand, lets call it enough for a tank of gas, or treating the family to Chipotlewhich frankly I deserve, considering the time I took to wrap the bike in bubble wrap and foam, stuff it into a cardboard box full of old newspaper, and drive it to the shipping place in Yonkers. (I love that place. They were so excited the box was going all the way to Japan! It was like they were going too.) Also, lets not forget Im the one who bought the bike off Craigslist in the first place, and also fixed it up, too, with new tires and brake hoods and bar tape and everything, not to mention lovingly sourcing the small parts necessary to rehabilitate the Campagnolo Proton wheels. So WHOS THE GENEROUS ONE NOW?Yes, my munificence is exceeded only by my modesty.And yes, I know what youre thinking. What, you drove the box to Yonkers? Why not use THAT GODDAMN E-BIKE OF YOURS? Look, I know Im a huge disappointment to you. But not only am I used to disappointing people, but yesterday my son and I took a lovely little sunset cruise over the Henry Hudson Bridge to Upper Manhattan that reminded me why we got this thing in the first place:The climb up to the bridge is one even most non-Fredly adults would have a problem with, and so the kid had a little electrical tailwind, so what?And lest you think I coddle my children, I can assure you Ive made them walk home over that bridge before, and I can also assure you theyre still angry about it.And no, we wont be getting these:Though I do reserve the right to at least consider them should a cataclysm cause a drastic change in the Earths gravity. (Assuming that change makes us all heavier, of course. If we all wind up lighter then Id go with weighted shoes. So lets all hope for the latter, since a weighted shoe shouldnt require any short of motor or connectivity and would therefore be much cheaper.)Ill spare you any images of the e-bike, which I shall heretofore refer to as E Who Cannot Be Named, and instead allow you to gaze upon the Glory Of The Homer (GOTH):I know some of you find the manner in which Ive de-twee-ified this bike almost as upsetting as my little e-bike commute on Tuesday, but Id at least like a little credit for switching to a black saddle. Also, for the record, this is my actual commuting bike, though next time I commute by bike Ill almost certainly use the PashMo:And when I look at the PashMo, I cant help but think of another diminutive-wheeled British feat of engineering I once had:Ironically I passed the Brompton along because I wasnt commuting anymore and I felt like I wasnt using it enough, go figure. Now here I am commuting again, and tragically Bromptonless. But I loved the bike, and anybody who asks me which folding bike they should buy always gets the exact same answer: Dont bother shopping around, get a Brompton, thats it, done and done. Unfortunately, Bromptons are similar to Rivendells in that theyre exactly the bikes most people who ask you what kind of bike they should get need, but when you tell those people this they dont listen because theyre too expensive. So instead of a Brompton that is extremely well made and folds up in like three seconds into something so small you can practically fit in your wallet they get some awkward thing that barely folds down to the size of the fully assembled PashMo.I mean sure, I love cheap bikes, and yes, a layperson (assuming they have the free help of a friend whos a giant bike dork) could conceivably hit the classifieds and the parts bin and put together something both inexpensive and Rivend-ish, but broadly speaking most people would be better off just Riv-ing it up in the first placeand when it comes to something as specialized as a folding bike getting anything else simply isnt worth it.In fact, Ive been surprised to see more and more Bromptons on the bike path lately, though only now am I discovering theyre probably not Bromptons at all:I had no idea! I feel so naive:As I understand it (probably incorrectly) from five minutes of popular search engine jockeying filtered through my blown-out intellect, the Brompton patent expired in like 1999 or something, and people started copying it, so Brompton went on to claim the design of the bike was protected by copyright, and a Belgian court decided the following:The Courts answer is that copyright can protect a products shape which is, at least in part, necessary to obtain a technical result, provided it is original (para. 38). If the shape is solely dictated by function, copyright cannot protect it.This is a fascinating philosophical question, for presumably anyone copying a Brompton has to claim that theyre not ripping off someone elses creative expression; rather, theyre simply making something that has to look the way it does in order to function and can take no other shape. In other words, theyre saying the Brompton works so well that everything about it is basically inevitable, which is high praise indeedthough by that logic you could also just steal anything. Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning starring Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren is an excellent movie. In order for any movie to function properly it can look no other way. That is why, in order to obtain the desired technical result, we had no other choice but to copy it exactly.At the same time, perhaps its only right and fair that anyone who wants to should now be able to make a Brompton-like bicycle. Centuries ago, someone came up with what we now recognize as the clock face. Today, can not anybody make a watch with two hands of differing lengths moving around a circular face in a left-to-right direction with the hours of the day inscribed around a circular face? Would requiring every company who makes a timepiece to completely rethink its design really be in the best interest of humanity? And whether its a bike or a watch, isnt it the very fact that makers must compete with each other ultimately what ensures that quality will remain high?And yes, I know you can patent the movement inside the watch and copyright design elements of the watch. But Im just talking about the overall watch. Is a Brompton like a watch? Or like the workings inside the watch?I dunno. Too much to think about. My brain just folded like an off-brand Brompton.

Its Veterans Day, my annual reminder of how deeply fortunate I am that so many people give so much so that I can do so little:Speaking of being lazy, as you know I commute to Brooklyn two whole times a week, and yesterday I undertook that commute by bicycle:I know what youre thinking: 18 miles each way by bicycle? Thats not lazy at all! Most peoples car commutes are shorter than your walk from the bike rack to your office. Well sure, that may be true. However, keep in mind that this time I commuted on an electric bicycle:Yes, thats right, an electric bicycle. And Im not even going to bother telling you its not mine, because you wont believe me, and anyway the truth is its my younger sons, which Im sure you think is even worse.They say the universe tends towards chaos, but this is not true; in fact, it tends towards irony. Consider, for example, the fact that Ive been obsessed with bicycles and the riding of them for as long as I remember, to the extent that Ive dedicated my life to writing about them on a daily basis for the enjoyment of four or five peopleand yet my own child doesnt really care for them, even though he learned how to ride one at the age of three in what felt like about 45 minutes. Now, a lot of people will mouth off about how you need to TELL YOUR KIDS WHAT TO DO GODDAMN IT, but it doesnt really work that way. Sure, you can make them do the things they have to do, like go to school and brush their teeth, and you can also refuse to give them the things they want but shouldnt have, like sportsbook accounts and hand grenades. But you simply cannot tell them what to like and who to be, it just doesnt work like that. So I cannot force my kid to love bikes and be a cyclist.The fact that he was born without the obsessive cyclist gene (which is really a blessing and not a curse, bikes have ruined my life, if Id spent all this time and money more responsibly I might actually be successful now) is one thing, but on top of that its very hilly where we live. People think of New York City as flat, but thats not true of the Upper Manhattan and the Bronxespecially this part of the Bronx, which sits at high elevation on a ridge overlooking the Hudson River, which is why it was a strategic location during the Revolutionary War. The upshot is that any ride will probably involve at least one very steep hill. If you love riding bikes thats not a problem; in fact its probably something you enjoy. In fact its one of the reasons I moved here from crpe-flat, boring-ass Brooklyn, the most pretentious place on Long Island. But if you dont love riding bikes, hills only strengthen your resolve to avoid doing so whenever possible. And my younger son belongs in that latter category.Still, sometimes you just want to be able to go places on bikes togethermaybe just to save time over walking or driving, or maybe because its a beautiful day and you want to go to the Botanical Gardens or something. So it seemed to me that in such situations we had three choices: not ride at all; force him to ride and turn disinclination into deep resentment; ormaybe try an e-bike? So back in the early spring we went to a bike shop and purchased a pedal-assist e-bike from a major bicycle brand. It did not turn him into a cyclist, contrary to the claims of some e-bike evangelists, nor did it turn him into a delinquent, contrary to the claims of some e-bike detractors:Mostly the e-bike has just been convenient, in that we can just ride places when we need to now with less of a fuss. Also, probably the best thing about it is that if I want him to pick him up someplace and I dont want to drive I can just ride his e-bike there and wheel my own bike alongside of me. This is something Ive done often on a regular bike, too, but its way easier with the e-bike in a hilly neighborhood like this one.Am I setting a pernicious example and inadvertently teaching him to always take the easy way out? Maybe, but I dont think so. Life will present him with all sorts of challenges as he grows up, and I doubt this alone will determine how he faces them. Am I just like those people who buy their 10 year-old kids $3,800 e-mountain bikes with dropper posts? In a way, sure, but hes in middle school and not 10, this is for getting around locally and not tearing up the backwoods, and he has put in plenty of time on a regular bicycle. (I say he doesnt ride, but Im a cycling obsessive, and even my non-cyclist child has spent more time on bikes than most children.) Believe me, Ive flagellated myself for being a hypocrite and a bad parent, but if theres one thing Ive learned as an American its that sometimes youve just got to give up and throw money at the problem.As for the bike, its a medium-sized step-through, so its easy for him to handle yet big enough that he wont outgrow it anytime soon. In fact, its big enough that even I can get away with riding itand while I rarely do, I decided to try commuting on it yesterday to finally see what all the fuss is about:Overall, it did not transform my bicycle commute, butsurprise!it did make it easier. In particular, the bulk of my route is along the Hudson River Greenway, which as all local cyclists know can subject you to very strong headwinds, as was the case that morning:[You cant see the wind, but it was there]Headwinds can be demoralizing, especially on a commute where youre just trying to get somewhere already. So yes, being able to remain in a comfortable upright position without having to get into an aero tuck or otherwise actively struggle to make forward progress was certainly a relief. So that was a big one.At the same time, it did not fundamentally change the way I rode. For example, I have frequently lamented the manner in which riders on the Greenway fail to yield to pedestrians. This day was no exception, though its less of a problem now that its getting cold and there are fewer people riding and recreating on the bike path:While youd think the faster e-bike might make me less inclined to yield, it actually had the opposite effect. Mostly this is because Im a morally superior human being who should be shortlisted for a Nobel Prize, but its also because with the assist its easier to get going again after youve stopped, so theres really no downside. The lesson here is that people on regular bikes who dont yield to pedestrians should merely be slapped, but people on e-bikes who dont yield to pedestrians on e-bikes should be repeatedly caned. Also, while I went faster overall, I really didnt go that much faster. It took me exactly an hour to get to Golf Tee Island, which is how I generally gauge my pace on my commute, and if I recall correctly I made about the same time on the Roaduno:Also, while I probably passed a few riders I might not have otherwise, I was still passed by, cut off by, and generally annoyed by all the riders on pedal-less e-motorcycles, high-speed stand-up e-scooters, and even e-Citi Bikers to the same extent I usually am.The same was true of the return commute:Though I saved more time because theres a lot more climbing on the way home:I didnt time everything very carefully, but Id estimate that going to Brooklyn I saved around 10 minutes, and coming back home I saved around 15 minutesnot nothing, but the ride still took me longer each way than the subway. As for how much effort I expended, I dont really keep track of that stuff, but as I type this I realize that my phone or my watch does, so I looked it up. Heres what yesterdays e-bike commute looked like:And heres what my last commute on the Homer looked like:I dont know how to read any of that. Clearly I worked harder on the Homer, but just how much I cant say. Perhaps some Fitness Fred can go ahead and analyze it for me.As for my perception, it definitely took the edge off, and Id be lying if I said I didnt appreciate working less on that final climb when I just wanted to be home and eating dinner already . However, as I say, it still took longer than the subway, which is the main reason I commute that way most of the timeand obviously youre just as exposed to the elements on an e-bike as you are on a regular bike, so in that regard theres no advantage. These days I only commute by bike occasionally, and when I do so I do it for fun, so for that reason an e-bike would be unlikely to make much of a difference in my routine or my preferences. Where it would make a difference would be if, say, the entire transit system went on strike and I had to ride. In that scenario I could certainly see opting for the e-bike over the regular bike at least some of the time.In short: hyper-fast e-contraptions that atomize cyclists on the bike path and off-label batteries that immolate families? Very bad. But pedal-assist e-bikes seem fairly harmless and convenient. I dont think theyll save the world, but they probably wont destroy it either.

Some time ago I mentioned Lachlan Morton and that weird ride where he beat the Pony Express:Colloquially, in the cycling world, we call the practice of trying to beat unwitting opponents who are simply commuting to work or otherwise just riding casually Cat 6 racing. So what do we call racing a 19th century courier service that went out of business like eight years before the pennyfarthing was even invented? Well, after reading this story, Im going with vacation:Why is this not in the Travel section? I know people lionize Lachlan Morton for pushing the boundaries of human whatever, but sorry, if it walks like a vacation and it quacks like a vacation then its probably a vacation. Think about it: what do you do on vacation? Well, you eat lots of food:I had one energy gel on the first night but I try to stick with real, solid food because the rides are so long that you want your body to function in a pretty regular, predictable way, he says. Ill eat a lot of sandwiches or frozen breakfast burritos. And then every night I would have a proper dinner which was generally eggs or rice and meat and kimchi for some reason. Its rogue.And you do a little sightseeing:The sunrise is always hard to beat, he says. You see the sun coming for probably two and a half, sometimes three hours before you actually get it. A lot of these places come midday are pretty harsh, but early in the morning they can be incredibly beautiful and calm.In fact that entire paragraph could very easily be about vacationing on a tropical island, because those beaches can get pretty hot too, which is why by the afternoon you want to be off the sand and sitting at a tiki bar.You might also take advantage of your time off from work and other responsibilities by partaking in some challenging yet rewarding recreational physical activity. For example, Lachlan Morton chose all-terrain bicycling:The surprising thing for me on this trip was that the terrain that was the hardest or the slowest to move through, where it was more technical, I found the most enjoyable, he says. The mental challenge of the longer straightforward sections I find more difficult because theres less to break you out of the enormity of what you have to do.Whereas people visiting tropical islands might try something like kitesurfing or windsurfing, which can also be pretty hard:And look, like any vacation there were moments of unpleasantness:The hardest thing is getting going in the morning. After huge days, once you rest, your body completely seizes up. Starting in Wyoming, it was like 25F (-3.9C) in the dark. Your knees dont really want to, (you) cant really sit on the seat. The question is, Am I gonna be able to make this happen?But when you reach a certain age what he describes above is just called waking up, and whether its achieving tumescence or simply using the bathroom no doubt that Am I gonna be able to make this happen? bit resonates with many an AARP member.Sure, you can accuse me of being cynical, but even Lachlan Morton hmiself knows its a vacation:Im in a very lucky position to seek out hard things to do. Its a choice, (whereas) most people have to deal with hard things out of necessity, Morton explains. So Im trying to stay aware of that, remembering thats what you came out here for and leaning into those harder bits. Those physical and mental lows, they always pass. Having that knowledge gives you the confidence to not let it become this never-ending doom.I mean does it really get any better than being left the hell alone?While carving through the American Midwest, Morton was accompanied by a crew but given they could not follow his route exactly he was still very alone. Depending on the terrain, it was often up to seven hours before he saw another human soul. Yet even the solitude was something to embrace.The time you spend by yourself with uninhibited or undistracted thoughts, you really understand the way your brain works, the places it goes, he says. It helps you understand the way you behave on a day-to-day basis and the way you interact with people. That only comes through being alone.And who hasnt had one of those vacations where, instead of bringing your favorite bike you decide to rent a bike from an LBS, and so you have to make do with something boring and uninspiring like a Cannondale?[Lachlan Morton Cat 6-ing the hell out of some guy on a horse.]I do continue to wonder which historical figures Morton will try to Cat 6 next, and in researching this I was weirded out to learn that theres a History Snob:It really was unsettling:As for the expeditions that Lachlan Morton could potentially beat on his bicycle, this one stood out:But mostly because Fridtjof Nansens Arctic Drift Expedition sounds like an obsure jazz fusion album youd find in the vinyl collection of someone who also owns all those early Letle Viride releases:[BK Jimmy]Im tempted to say you had to be there, but thanks to AI you actually didnt have to be there:All fairly accurate apart from the characterization of this blog as popular.But yes, I refuse to acknowledge the legitimacy of ultra-endurance cycling as anything other than aggressive vacationing, especially when following it literally involves watching dots, which sounds like the sort of thing youd do if you found watching paint dry too stimulating. However, I did find myself perusing the competitors bikes, and while most of them were pretty much the same, there were one or two standouts, like this one:And this one:Im pretty sure one or both of those riders look exactly like this:Thats a stare that would stop even the likes of Lachlan Morton in his tracks.

Further to last Fridays post, a reader has some charred bicycles:And so I am dispatching one that is in marginally better condition:Thank you very much to all who contributed towards the shipping costs. I have now put in the order with Bikeflights and am just waiting for the shipping label. So far, proceeds have come in a but under the total shipping costs, but making up the difference wont ruin me:I mean youre still free to throw in a few yen if you want, but its actually worth it to me either way since I need the spaceand yes, I have officially reached such an obscene level of decadence that I have so many fine bicycles Im willing to pay to get rid of one. (Oh, and I guess to help somebody whose house burned down, but the best kind of helping is when it helps you too.)Hey, what can I say? Life could be worse. Ive got myself a sumptuous clowder, spanning everything from beautiful lugged bicycles with ample tire clearance and mechanical drivetrains:To beautiful lugged bicycles with ample tire clearance and mechanical drivetrains:And while I may deride the cycling media from time to time, Id like to thank them sincerely for publishing stories like this, since they do more to undermine the primacy of electronic shifting than my incessant and tedious anti-battery screeds ever could:Consider:When theyre working, the performance these systems enable you to achieve is unmatched by mechanical alternatives, but their Achilles heel is once theyve run out of battery power, they are useless. They can even become a hindrance.Okay, before we go any further, lets make one thing abundantly clear:You suck.You may like electronic drivetrains better than mechanical ones, and thats perfectly fine. We all like what we like. For all my religious fervor on the subject, if someone enjoys riding a replica of Tadej Pogaars bike more than the sorts of fop chariots I espouse then I certainly respect that. I had a Tan Tenovo with Di2 and I liked it too! But its important to understand that you are not achieving any performance, unmatched or otherwise, because batteries. Whether a bike is metal or plastic, or mechanical or digital, heres the simple truth: the people buying the bikes suck, the people reviewing the bikes suck, and most of the people designing the bikes suck. You suck, I suck, we all suck. Whether the buttons are electronic or mechanical doesnt make the slightest bit of difference. Dont believe me? Lets take a look at the numbers: Right, so there are around 1,500 professional riders out there versus half a million riders with UCI race licenses. So only .3% of those license holders are good enough to receive some sort of sponsorship or compensation. Not three percent. POINT THREE PERCENT.And of that POINT THREE PERCENT, only the very best riders compete at such a high level that an electronic drivetrain might actually net them some tiny performance advantage in certain very specific situations. (Thats accounting for the fact they also have a full-time support structure behind them including a team of people whose only job it is to keep their bicycles running absolutely perfectly at all times.) Really, of that POINT THREE PERCENT, maybe like 15% are achieving better performance from their electronic equipment.Similarly, there are way more riders out there than those half a million UCI license holders, from local Club Freds with their USA Cycling licenses to the incalculable number people out there with no licenses at all who think they need Dura-Ace to Cat 6 you on the bike path.So you could probably move that decimal point at least a few more places to the left, but what the hell, Im feeling generous.Once you accept this objective truth, you can really enjoy the irony of passages like this one:Once the charge level drops, its prudent to be mindful of gear selection because your battery may give out without further warning. This means not shifting into the lowest or highest gears unless absolutely necessary.If you stay around the middle of the cassette, when your battery dies youll at least be stuck in a fairly ubiquitous gear suitable for the widest range of terrain.So almost no riders are realizing any performance gains from electric drivetrains, but even the lousiest and suckiest among us are certainly netting massive ones from our mechanical drivetrains that allow us to shift as much as we want without ever having to worry about battery life. (Being able to, you know, shift on a climb is a pretty big performance gain.)Then theres this, which absolutely boggles the mind:If youve run out of juice in a key component such as your dropper post or gears while on a ride, make life easy for yourself by taking a breather and working out if you can optimise your return route.Finding a flatter, more direct route back will minimise the need for gear shifting, or dropping your seatpost. This is especially applicable to eMTB riding, because mountain bike trails are typically rough and undulating.Some bike parks and trail centres have access routes for service vehicles, which are not rough or challenging like the trails themselves. These are often signposted, so it can be worth searching around for one of these to travel on if youre in any difficulty.LOL. He used Key component and dropper post in the same sentence! Imagine having to rethink your ride because your electronic telescoping seatpost isnt working. Also, if theres one component even the weeniest of weenies could agree doesnt need to be electronic, youd think it would be that one. A modern drivetrain has, what, 12 or 13 gears now? I get wanting to pew, pew your way up and down a cassette like that, and how it might at least make you feel faster. But a dropper post is either up or its down. What is the point of one that can also run out of batteries?Oh, I guess so you can take the battery out of it when one of your many other batteries runs out:SRAM AXS systems all use the same battery. This includes RockShox Reverb electronic dropper posts, suspension equipped with Flight Attendant and AXS derailleurs.If your Reverb dropper post battery dies while riding, you can swap in the battery from your derailleur each time you want to put it up or down. Its a hassle, but at least you can still raise your saddle before climbs and drop it before descending.If your AXS derailleur battery runs out, you can swap in the battery from your Reverb dropper and continue using the gears, leaving your dropper post in position.Except for the little watch batteries in your shifter pods, in which case youll have to reach down and press a button on the derailleur itself:AXS Pod Controllers use coin-style non-rechargeable batteries that last ages. To check them, you can hold the AXS button on the controller and it will show green (6-24 months life left), red (1-6 months left), or flash red for a critically low battery (less than 1 month life left).If youre unlucky enough to run out of battery power from your AXS controller during a ride, SRAM has built in a clever hack to help you out.If you lose functionality from the remote, AXS products have a button on the body of the product itself so you can activate its functions. This includes derailleurs (front and rear), dropper posts and Flight Attendant suspension.Congratulations! You now have something less convenient than a rod shifter:[From here]Maybe SRAM should start equipping bikes with ultra-light crabon auxiliary rod shifters just in case your batteries die.Im sure Campagnolos patent must have expired by now

As I mentioned on Wednesday, we have a winner of The Contest:Sponsored by The Lube:And all he had to do was lose all his bikes in a Japanese inferno.Actually, as readers pointed out, some of the bikes (or at least frames) may be salvageable:Still, thats a lotta patina, and at the very least a big pain in the ass, plus theres the small matter of, you know, his house, which is almost as important as the bikesmaybe not to him, but probably to the rest of his family.And so I am officially declaring him the winner and awarding him the grand prize, which is one (1) Meh-roica bike:This benefits him because, you know, fire, and it benefits me because I finally get to declare a winnerplus, lets just pretend for a minute I needed to make space for a much nicer road bicycle and was looking to divest myself of this bike anyway:[From here, probably a practical joke, also Id never ride a bike with a hole in the bottom bracket like that, it seems unsafe]It also benefits you because I get to keep the lube, and so I can choose some more contest winners, which I fully intend to do, even if at this rate it will take me several years.Of course shipping to Japan isnt cheap, so if youre feeling munifacent municiple generous as the Sub-Canadian Day Of The Annual Giving Of The Thanks approaches, you are certainly welcome to toss a few coins in the pot to help me with the costs, though I must issue the following caveats:I dont know this person apart from the fact he submitted a bike for the contest and then he emailed a week or two to tell me his house burned down. Perhaps all these images are AI-generated and its an elaborate scheme to bilk me out of a Chris Huber bicycle, which for all I know could be a cult item in Japan and worth lots and lots of moneyI have not vetted this person and dont know if he subscribes to some hateful political ideology such as conservativism, liberalism, or moderatism. I do know that he is originally from British Columbia, but after much soul searching Ive decided he can have the bike anywayIm not creating some kind of charity thermometer thingy that shows how much money Ive collected, so if a bunch of people pitch in a crapload and I wind up with a million dollars I get to keep the change, which seems fair, since conversely if nobody pitches in at all then thats my problem and Ive got to cover shipping the bike to some British Columbian expat political extremist all myself. My point is, if you send me any money, be comfortable with the idea that youre doing it because Im the worlds greatest living bike blogger and an exemplary person, and that the money could potentially go to something other than shipping the bike, such as feeding my kids or buying dental floss or something.So there you go. Sure, shipping a bike to a stranger in Japan who could very well be running the worlds lamest con is a risk, but sometimes youve got to take a flyer on humanity. Once again, heres the link, and Ill keep you posted whether you like it or not.Speaking of things going up in smoke (sorry), what the hell is happening to Bianchi?Jeez, how hard could it be? Seriously, you had one job, Bianchi! Just make bikes this color:[From here]Oh, wait, I guess they still do:But its really not the same in crabon, is it?Oh, well, I guess Im out of ideas. Running a bike company sure does sound hard. After all, a brilliant idea like designing a bike for humans only comes along at most once in a generation, right?And finally, we dont really need to talk about making it legal for cyclists to run red lights, but lets do it anyway:Basically, like every other cyclist (myself included), he thinks he runs red lights responsibly, so therefore whats the big deal?Listen, I get why motorists are frustrated with bikes. Someone on Twitter recently said cyclists combine the arrogance of the driver with the victim complex of the pedestrian. Accidentally get too close to a cyclist while driving, and youll likely get an earful of four-letter words just before watching that same cyclist run a red light.But consider our side: If we collide, youll probably be fine, and we probably wont be. Cyclists are killed by cars all the time.That doesnt give cyclists carte blanche to disregard everyone else on the streets, least of all pedestrians, our natural allies in the war on cars. There are some rules worth following, and Ill admit not everything in my opening confession survives scrutiny. Rolling through an empty four-way stop on The Wiggle, though, hurts no one.Alas, he completely undermines his own argument:To wit:I have a confession to make: I bike through red lights all the time. I treat stop signs as suggestions to yield. When the bike lane is crowded with cyclists pedaling too slowly, I veer into traffic to pass them. When Im on a road with no bike lane, I have no problem weaving between cars stopped at a light to get to the front of the line.As a New York City, its impossible for me to say exactly how many times Ive run red lights on my bicycle. However, if I had to make an educated guess, Id put it at 10,000 times on the low end, and 225,000 on the high end. As for how many times Ive been ticketed for running red lights, thats easier, and while its possible I could be forgetting an incident or two, I can say with certainty that Ive been caught and Summonsed? Summoned? Sommeliered? these three (3) times, as follows:Ticket No. 1: Sometime in the Late 90sI was working as a bike messenger and rolled through a red light. There was a cop standing there stopping cyclists. Im not the sort of person who tries to evade the police, so I dutifully stopped and received a ticket. This, coupled with the theft of my bicycle, is why I netted at best zero dollars during my messengering career.Ticket No. 2: Sometime in the Late AughtsI was commuting to work and I brazenly ran a red light across a busy street. A cop in an NYPD cruiser lit up his sirens. As I say, Im not the sort of person who tries to evade the police, but the streets were pretty busy with traffic, and it did occur to me that if maybe I pretended I thought he had his sirens on because he was responding to an actual emergency and just kept riding then maybe Id inadvertently lose him. This did not work, and he received my exclamation of, Wait, those sirens were for me?!? with skepticism. Ticket No. 3: The Tan Tenovo IncidentSo basically, taking my most conservative light-running figure, Ive been ticketed for it like .03% of the time, and Id wager the writers experience has been more or less the same, since if he had received a significant number of tickets, you can be absolutely sure wed be hearing about it. Because nobodybut nobodymakes a bigger deal over anything than a cyclist who has received a ticket:Meanwhile, as scrupulous as the writer and I both think we are about our light-runnings, its foolish to pretend that many cyclists arent terrible when it comes to yielding to pedestriansand yes, some of you will be tempted to BUT DRIVERS this assertion, but setting that as the bar for considerate behavior is like Pivot claiming an all-electronic road bike that costs $12,000 is a bike for humans. I commute to Brooklyn twice a week, occasionally by bicycle but mostly by subway, and Id say that on pretty much every walk to and from the station in Brooklyn I encounter at least one if not several riders who deserve to be punched in the head, usually because they ride right through a red light or stop sign as pedestrians are crossing without so much as slowing down. And yes, if its legal for cyclists to run red lights and stop signs then it can still be illegal for cyclists to fail to yield to pedestrians, but why remove a handy tool out of the toolbox? Its like getting rid of your crown race setter because you can always just use a slotted screwdriver. If a dumbass runs a light in a dumbass way you should be able to give the dumbass a ticket for it.And yes, Ill certainly allow that the current method of enforcement is silly, that being a cop standing around and stopping the slowest and most compliant light-runners in a single spot while all over the city thousands of cyclists and drivers and people speeding around on all sorts of flammable crap micromobility devices molest pedestrians with impunity. But Im not quite sure how making it legal to run lights helps. The point is, if you refuse to stop at lights, just slow down and check for cops first, youll be fine.

When I think of new products that the world needs, yet another plastic road bike is roughly the 17,000,000,000th item on the listand yet, here we are:Four decades ago, a musician named Prince told us all what it sounds like when doves cry:Today, this is what it looks like when a media embargo lifts:On your marksget setREVIEW![LOL the pros and cons.]Its not like I have anything against Pivot. Theyre a well-regarded mountain bike brand. But thats exactly whats so puzzling about all this. Like, why? Being a successful bike company is improbable enough, and they seem to have done well designing mountain bikes, so why tempt fate by making road bikes of all things? This is exactly why Vito Corleone didnt want the family expanding into narcotics:When youve got a good racket going who the hell needs the risk!?!And say what you will about drugs, but you can understand why Sonny wanted in, because at least theyre excitingunlikeA Race Bike For Humans?But I ask againAfter years of refining performance near the top of the mountain bike world, Pivot Cycles has extended its range into drop bars with the new Pravia road bike. After unveiling a gravel bike in recent years, the Pravia is the final piece of the puzzle for the vaunted off-road brands evolution into the drop-bar world.WHY!?!I guess they just have to show you that they can even though nobody asked for it, like Seth MacFarlanes recording career:As for that whole A Race Bike For Humans gimmick, the idea is that its approachable:Pivot has positioned the Pravia as a WorldTour-level race bike, with a few attributes that make the bike a bit more approachable to everyday riders. That split personality, more than any clear standout quality, is the name of the game with the Pravia road bike. Or, as Pivot says of its nascent road machine, a race bike for humans.Which is probably just another way of saying you can get the bars a little higher:We saw what the marketplace lacked: a bike with race-level frame stiffness and handling, but geometry designed around real riders and the positions they can actually sustain, Pivot said about its entry into the road market. With decades of carbon engineering expertise, we purposefully crafted this bike to be what so many riders are looking for.Isnt that like every endurance road bike or whatever theyre calling them nowadays? Didnt I review a bike like this back in like 1986?I dont know. But I do know that if you want this particular Race Bike For Humans youll have to dip into The Human Fund:Because this baby aint cheap:For our long-term test, we will be testing the SRAM Red-level build, the top-spec option Pivot is offering. As a stock build, we weighed the bike at 16.95 lbs (7.89 kg) for a size 58cm frame ready to ride without pedals, computer mount, or cages. That build will retail for $ 11,999 USD.The Pravia will also be available in two other SRAM builds. The Pro Force build will go for $8,999 USD, while the Ride Rival builds are $5,999 USD. Frame sets are also available for $4,499.I guess when they said it was approachable they didnt mean the price.This particular story sure left me with more question than answers, but fortunately there was also an advertorial to clear everything up:Its quite the hagiography too:For this project, he tapped into the innovative spirit at Pivot, like when the brand pushed into 29-inch wheels early, or developed a fat bike. Pivot is our brand, and wherever we decide to take it we can compete in those categories, he said.Really? Pivot were early to 29ers? According to 30 seconds of popular search engine jockeying their first 29er was in 2010. Gary Fisher had already been doing 29ers for like nine years. I mean even I had already been riding one by then!Also, are they really going to pretend they have a secret magical way of making the crabon that nobody else has figured out yet?He walks us through the carbon layup development process. It took two years to get all the different sizes correct, and the 56 size around took at least six rounds of development to get the weight and ride quality where they wanted them. But its actually the smallest sizes that are the hardest to develop. Cocalis also talks to us about how Pivots Hollow Core Carbon Molding process for creating carbon frames differs from other brands. He calls it the most precise way to make a carbon frame.Oh please. At this point the biggest challenge in crabon bike manufacturing is making a quiet downtube storage compartment:Cocalis talked us through his decision to include downtube storage, a move that isnt always perceived as being for performance bikes. It was also a massive development process to get a downtube storage door that doesnt squeak, doesnt creak, doesnt leak, and thats before trying to hit stiffness and weight targets. Its part of the reason they needed six rounds of layup development on the size 56 frame alone.The downtube storage compartment is really the only way to differentiate one modern crabon bike from the other, sort of like how people choose an SUV based on which ones console fits their Stanley the best.And what kind of bike for humans doesnt allow you to use mechanical shifting?Cocalis then discusses the decision to go all-in on electronic shifting. As he puts it, the Pravia is a high-end bike built for a rider thats not interested in mechanical shifting. See, as everyone knows, cable guides completely ruin a bicycles ride quality:And making it electronic only means not sacrificing ride quality, performance, or weight to build in cable guides and stops. It is definitely a performance minded decision, Cocalis said.If they wanted to save weight and not sacrifice ride quality by adding extra frame material then why not give it rim brakes instead of dicks?I dunno, if I were building a bike for humans it would probably be more like this:Omitting the downtube storage compartment entirely and using a high-tech piece of equipment called a bag that can be switched out for a different size and style in secondsor even omitted entirelyis what I call the very definition of a performance minded decision.

ContestDumonde TechYou know the rest.So you wanted a winner, right?Well, remember this bike?A real beauty and a true contender, though some of you felt it was a bit too clean.But I doubt youd feel that way now:Heres what happened:The fire broke out in a neighboring house and spread to the owners home. Thankfully he and his family (including two small children) were not harmed. However, they lost not only their house, but a staggering array of bicycles:Ugh.Okay, please turn off your computer or close your laptop or put your phone in your pocket or fold up the piece of paper you printed this out on in the library and observe a moment of silence for one hell of a clowder.Okay. In a way it feels like an insult to award the prize to this contestant. Frankly, if all my bikes burned up and someone handed me a bottle of chain lube Id tell them to go fuck themselves. At the same time, he was already on the short list, and talk about playing the sympathy card! So what Id really like to do is award him the win symbolially and somehow sweeten the pot. Like, I would happily award him my own Meh-roica Bike as a grand prize, assuming shipping to Japan (he lives in Japan if you havent figured that out) isnt completely and wildly prohibitive:Then maybe award some of the lubes and T-shirts and stuff that Dumonde sent to some of the other competitors.Anyway, Im still figuring it out, and I havent even mentioned awarding the Meh-roica bike to this unfortunate contestant, who for all I know may not want the bike at all, since maybe going from 15 dream bikes to one (1) Chris Huber is even more insulting than losing them all in a fire and receiving a bottle of lube.But in the meantime Ill see, and since Ive been shamelessly dragging this contest out I figured I owed everyone an update.So there you go!If nothing else, the contest just got interesting.Count your blessings and all that stuff,Tan Tenovo

Its now been a month since I launched the Meh-roica Pageant:Sponsored by Dumonde Tech, the worlds greatest lubricant:**[for your bike. I cannot officially sanction any off-label useespecially for, shall we say, intimate purposes.]Anyway, the deadline passed on October 16th, and since then Ive been doing a lot of soul-searching. Well, Im pleased to report Ive finally come to a decision, and here it is:No, I will not be putting leather bar tape on my Roadini:Not only is it too much work, but someone pointed out it gets funky in the rain, plus what happens if I decide to change the saddle again?No, I will hold onto the leather bar tape and maybe use it when I freshen up the Platypus and get rid of the double-grip situation Ive got going on:Wait, whats that? You say you dont care?You say you want to know who won the goddamn contest?!?Yeah, I know, right? Tell me about it!Anyway, as I previously mentioned, I sold my records not too long ago, which Im still a little sad about, even though it was an extremely shrewd business decision. Well, okay, it wasnt that shrewd, since if back in the 1980s Id put that money in the S&P 500 instead of buying records with it Id now have about 1,200% more than what I ended getting for them at the Greenwich Village record store. This is yet another reminder that instead of hating corporations in my youth I should have been investing in themor just doing both, as you eventually learn to do as an adult.Nevertheless, one thing I used to really enjoy doing as a teenager was blowing off any schoolwork I might have had and instead taking hours-long deep dives into my own record collection. This would often involve choosing a band and listening to all their albums one after another, starting with their early work when they couldnt play their instruments at all, and then moving all the way through their catalog to the present, when they could kind of almost sort of play them a little.So why is this relevant? Well, for one thing, the fact that I spent all my time doing this instead of homework is why Im a former semi-professional bike blogger instead of a successful person. Its also pertinent because as I became an adult my bikes replaced my records, and Im just as unproductive, except now I just take deep dives into my bike collection instead. Currently Im on something of a Rivendell jag, and I always do my best to match my bike to the landscape:Note that I took the bold and controversial step of putting clipless pedals on the Roaduno:I am a Time ATAC user and have been for many years. See, in the old days they were much better at shedding mud than SPDs, so That Was Just What You Used, especially if you raced the cylcocross. However, I had a pair of Shimano pedals sitting around from the Bargain Basement Bike (which is also where that saddle bag came from, notice how I use every part of the buffalo), and I also came across a pair of old SPD cleats, so I figured Id throw em on there and try them out, even though it stresses me out to have bikes using different pedal systems. (As for mud-shedding, I think Shimano has probably caught up in that regard, but my days of riding in mud are well behind me and I really dont care.)I like flat pedals, and the Roaduno was great with them. However, I do think clipless pedals bring out something a little extra in a singlespeed bicycle:Specifically, with the bike geared so that Im not spinning out on flat terrain, climbing requires me to get out of the saddle and really work for it, which is easier to do when Im locked into the pedals. Also, its easier to pick both wheels up, which makes the bike feel a little more playful when Im hopping over roots and other obstacles on the ol hobo trail. So while the clipless pedals may be somewhat at odds with the whole Rivendell ethos, I like how they give the bike a little bit of an edge, like putting a splash of whiskey in your Coca-Cola. Also, if it makes you feel any better, Im not wearing the latest in gravel-specific footwear; instead, Im wearing a pair of cheap shoes I got many years ago on closeout that refuse to die and are about 40% Gorilla Glue:Speaking of the Bargain Basement Bike, and Meh-Roica Bikes (which the Bargain Basement Bike Qualifies as), some time ago (though Ill be darned if I can find the post) I mentioned a New York City-specific bicycle classified site called bikedrawer.com after the person who built it reached out to me:As someone who needs to move a bike along every once in awhile I really liked the idea. For example, lets say I were to get a new Farbman:[No idea where this came from. AI maybe?]Please note I didnt say I was getting a new Farbman. I said IF I GOT IT:[No idea where this came from. AI maybe?]This guy knows what Im talking about:I love you too, Nordberg.By the way, it wouldnt have to be a Farbman. It could be a recumbent or something:[No idea where this came from. AI maybe? Actually Im lying. Grant Petersen took this photo. Its called kompromat. Why do you think Im always espousing the virtues of his bicycles? I really wish I was riding a Factor Otso VAM instead of a Rivendell. Also, someone asked about the Inspector Gadget Jacket recently, which Im wearing in that photo. It needs to be cleaned and it needs a new lining. I should really get that done because it would go great with the PashMo.]The point is, lets say I had to make room for a Farbman or a recumbent. If so, the bike Id move along first would be the Bargain Basement Bikenot because I dont like it, but because I already have several road bikes and would observe a Last one hired, first one fired policy. All of this is to say that I figured I might as well try out the bikedrawer.com site to test the waters, and the Bargain Basement Bike is on there now if anyone is interested:There have been no nibbles as of yet, which doesnt surprise me in the least since not only are we in an unprecedented Meh-roica buyers market, but nobody has heard of a Chris Huber. Also, I thought my bike was priced to sell, but then I saw this:Still has the pie plate and everything!Seems worth it for the Ultegree alone.Not sure why its upside down, but maybe its a metaphor for the state of the world.

How was everybodys Halloween?This guy probably had a rough one:[Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Cheater]Mine, however, was quite lovely, and Im pleased to report my Ilhan Omars Alleged Brother-Husband costume went over extremely well:It also works equally well as an Alt Cyclist costume. In fact he looks like hes ready for the Nutmeg Noreaster. In the photo on the left hes posting to the Reddit xbiking forum about how Rivendells are overpriced and how he simply put $3,000 worth of White Industries and Paul components on an 88 RockHopper instead.The Halloweather was ideal, too, and the autumn were having this year is so downright autumnal it almost borders on caricature:Its enough to make you suspect that some other season is masquerading as autumn and trying a little too hard.Once again I had to do the whole Drive A Kid Somewhere and Wait Around thing, so once again I put the Anti-Riv on the roof of THE CAR THAT I OWN and did what we used to call mountain biking while I waited:As the Classic Cycle Old Crap Test Pilot Im ostensibly testing the bikes:But this weekend I had a revelation and and realized Im not testing the bikes at all:Im actually testingmyself.Or, to put it another way:So what is this bike teaching me? Well, basically the same lesson the George Plimptons Wife Oil didwhich is that I can find a bike aesthetically objectionable if not downright grotesque, and it can be the very antithesis of all the velocipedal values I espouse, and yet after spending enough time with it I will eventually grow quite fond of it.What Im still trying to figure out is why this is true. Is it because humans have a remarkable capacity for getting used to horrible things? (Adversity, oppression, eating at Arbys) Is it because theyre not horrible at all, and in fact the cutting-edge (for the time) technology behind them worked well and theyre really good bikes.? Or is it because its actually really hard to make a genuinely bad bike and as hard as both these companies tried they just couldnt quite pull it off? Perhaps its because my own love of cycling is so pure that I enjoy it no matter what monstrosity Im riding. Or maybe its the opposite and Im the cycling equivalent of a porn addict who can only get off on the most depraved and objectionable subject matter, like Y-Foils and vintage suspension mountain bikes.All of the above is probably true to a certain extent, but I do think both the bikes and I deserve the benefit of the doubt. The GT i-Drive bikes were generally well-regarded at the time, and people seem to forget that a mountain bike that was fun to ride in 1999 is just as fun to ride todaymore fun if youre not the original owner and you didnt take that initial depreciation hit. As for the Y-Foil, all Ill say about that is dont knock it til you try it. And cmon, give me a little credit for getting over my personal prejudices regarding suspension and bikes that look like something a Vulcan would use to administer a rectal exam respectively.But sure, frames without shocks are more in line with my own sensibilities:As are road bikes that dont require a crabon beam in order to ride smoothly:And the Roadini is riding very smoothly indeed now that Ive added the Brooks I recently removed from the Jones. But I now find myself faced with a very difficult choice, for after installing the saddle I realized I had this:Do I dare ride a bicycle with a leather saddle and leather bar tape? I fear in so doing I might cross some sort of cowhide Rubicon and become irretrievably twee. Also, the tape thats already on there feels really good, plus I actually managed to wrap it without leaving a visible gap by the levers, which never happens:And yethow do I resist matching my saddle and my sidewalls and my bar tape???HOW MANY OF US MUST DIE FOR YOUR SICK VANITY?, asketh the vexed bovine:Oh, save it, its your fault for being so useful and delicious.Alas, my vanity is exceeded only by my laziness, and why unfurl a solid B bar taping job only to go through the whole thing again?And not only will the leather doubtless be harder to wrap well, but afterwards Ill have to wax it!Who knew foppish retrogrouchery could be so hard?