Last Friday I announced the Meh-Roica Pageant with great fanfare and even greater artwork:And I can already tell its going to be a tough one to judge, because there are some very strong contenders. For example, remember Airborne?Shockingly it appears they still existand even sell a rim brake frame?Its not cheap, either, which is weird, since as I recall the whole thing with Airborne was that it was budget titanium of questionable provenance.Anyway, turn-of-the-century off-brand titanium certainly screams Meh-roica, though the owner does admit theres a mount for a handlebar bag, and as I mentioned, handlebar bags WILL NOT BE ALLOWED in the make-believe Meh-Roica ride Ill never organize:Sorry, but handlebar bags smack of gravel (thats SMK of GRVL in Gravelese), and Meh-roica is a celebration of everything gravel is not.That doesnt mean Ill instantly disqualify your submission if the bike has one, but its certainly not gonna help you.The flat pedals arent helping, either. Walkability is also very un-Meh-roica. Ideally you should be duck-waddling in road shoes, or at the very least using mountain bike shoes that are so stiff that they defeat the purpose of the recessed cleat.Speaking of bikes that are deeply out of fashion, I recently resumed test-piloting the GT XTR 1000, and this past weekend I got out on it once again:Like the AMP-ersand before it, the GT (which stands for Gaudy and Telescoping) is coming in quite handy as my dedicated I-have-to-drive-somewhere-so-I-might-as-well-throw-a-bike-on-the-roof-and-squeeze-in-a-ride bike. Usually I go to the forbidding Trails Behind The Mall, but this time I went to another popular spot called Graham Hills Park:Theres a reason its called Graham Hills and not Graham Flatsand in case youre confused, the reason is that its very hilly. Fortunately, the thing Id say the GT is best at is going up hills like the one in the photo above; its a nimble climber with good traction, and well suited to the steep, rocky, and root-y trails that characterize this area. However, the thing its worst at is going down those hills:I havent yet figured out how to take a photo that properly conveys steepness, so youll have to believe me when I tell you that the hill in the photo above is very steepsteep enough in spots that I worried I might go over the bars. In fact once or twice I even found myself thinking it would be nice to have a dropper post, which never happens. This isnt to say I was terrified, or that I didnt enjoy the ride. For one thing, I remember when feeling like you were going to go over the barsor, you know, just going over the barswas a normal part of mountain biking. I mean I used to ride this:[This was actually mine.]Also, my commanding officer, Paul Johnson of Classic Cycle, was kind enough to configure the front end of the GT to mitigate this effect (riser bars, up-angled stem, and a longer fork than the one on the bikes web page), which is highly uncharacteristic of him, since usually hes trying to kill me, so its mostly quite comfortable. And really, these moments of concern were few, brief and isolated, and the rest of the time the bike felt quite composedpoised, even:Indeed, I enjoyed myself enough that the next day I decided to go off-roading again, only this time on the Jones:In recent years the Jones, like its owner, has evolved into less of a mountain bike trail thrill-seeker and more of an all-around meanderer. However, fresh off the GT, I decided to revert to a plastic saddle and clipless pedals to facilitate maneuverability:One of the biggest differences between the two bikes is I really dont want to ride the GT anywhere but on mountain bike trails, which is why I only use it when Im driving. But the Jones is happy pretty much anywhere, so instead of driving I rode from my home to the forbidding Trails Behind the Mall via paved and unpaved pathways:Arriving at the trails, I was all excited to smugly parade myself before all the lazy mountain bikers who had driven their full-suspension bikers there (you know, just like I had done myself the day before at Graham Hills), but sadly the parking lot was virtually empty:So onto the trails I went:The GT is, as I say, a fun and nimble bike. The Jones is just as fun while at the same time exuding maturity and competence and making you want to ride to the trails and even to other, different, further trails after youve been on the trails you were riding to for awhile. It can also handle anything the GT can with the added benefit of never making you feel like youre going to go over the bars. In fact, when youre riding the Jones its hard to imagine its even possible to fall off of it at all.Oh, sure, Ive managed to do itBut I happen to be exceptionally talented in that area.