Well, those retrogrouch renegades over at Rivendell have done it again, because their new fork redefines elegance:Pretty sure Ive seen that design somewhere before, but I cant quite place it.Meanwhile, have you ever had one of those nightmares where you wake up but the world around you doesnt make any sense and you then realize you havent actually woken up at all and that you were simply having a nightmare within a nightmare and now youre still trapped in a nightmare from which you still cant seem to awaken but youre also not sure you even want to because what if you just find yourself in yet another nightmare and your entire existence just becomes an infinite Russian doll of abject terror?Well thats how I feel when I look at bikes, because when I visit the website of pretty much any mainstream bicycle company I cant find a single thing that is in any way remotely familiar or comprehensible to me as a cyclist:I mean what even are those things? Whats with the notch on the one with the middle? Why do you need to plug all of them in just so youre able to change gears? Why is that r/xbiking fever dream on the left almost Nine Thousand American Fun Tickets?Seriously, theres not a single thing on any of these sites that even remotely resembles a functional, rideable bicycle:Motorcycle maybe, but not bicycle:Speaking of Trek, its their 50th Anniversary, and amusingly they made a documentary about themselves just so they could tease new bikes models in it:This exciting new Trek road bike has revolutionary features such as a round seatpost and a lack of gimmicky suspension:At the rear, the mystery bike uses a round seatpost and lacks the ISO-Speed/Flow suspension system. The system looks more like a wedge-type or binder-type. But the seatpost area is definitely a new design for Trek, and the same goes for the headtube area.Incredible! I wonder what theyll come up with next? It is fascinating how John Burke can give an entire interview with a real bike sitting right next to him yet take so long to figure out what hes been doing wrong:Sadly things will keep getting worse before they get better. For example, it was only a matter of time before this happened:Crabon dick break roters are so ridiculous that even the bike media sees the irony, and thats saying something:Indeed, as Ive pointed out many times before, the fact that crabon is a lousy braking surface was the only reason dick breaks happened on road racing bikesthough in fairness to the company making the crabon roaters, these are mostly about weight savings:According to the brands literature, the carbon-ceramic construction is designed for extreme performance situations to eliminate disc brake fade on long descents. However, the messaging at the booth was heavily focused on weight savings, as the system shaves roughly 100 grams per rotor compared to standard steel options.Hmmm, if weight savings is the goal and riders are willing to accept crabon as a braking surface, what if they justNever mind, Im sorry for even thinking it.At least you dont have to charge your rotors yet, but theyll get there, because once you have to plug in your sunglasses before wearing them what else is left?I wish I could wake up.