Look, I know the idea of the future is scary and everyones all freaked out about AI and stuff, but its going to be fine, trust me. For example, Im old enough to remember when 1984 was supposed to look like this:But instead it turned out like this:And hey, you can speculate that the microphone stand butt-wiping antics of David Lee Roth and his cock-rocking corporate rock peers were also intended to undermine independent thought, and that MTV basically served the same purpose as that facially-mounted rat cage thingy:But still, its hard to hold on to a state of existential fear after that.Though Lob knows we tried.So yeah, its hard to get too worried about stuff at this point in my life, yet even I in my middle-aged complacency I find this a bit unsettling:And its not even the fact that advocates worked hard for generations to get bike lanes in cities across Canadas Dungarees only for the tech companies to appropriate them; its that apparently this particular city doesnt have any regulatory authority over any of these delivery bots:The potential for larger bots that want to use bike lanes and travel faster, thats a new layer to this issue, Heyne said. We dont currently have any regulatory authority over any of these delivery bots.Possible rules discussed Monday include a one-year pilot permit, limits on the number of robots allowed, speed caps, no stopping or parking in bike lanes, required brakes, hazard lights, constant lighting, audible alerts and input from bike advocates.Wait, Im sorry, what?How can the city have no regulatory authority over robots in the bike lane? Like, you can just use whatever you want in there? Like a tank, or a boat, or a John Deere tractor? And is the problem that they dont have any authority over the bike lanes, or over the robots? Because if the latter, that means a robot can do whatever it wants, including killing people. So you wont be able to murder someone, but if your robot does it for you then no problem.Scary.Clearly the only short-term solution to the problem of robots in the bike lane is an artisanal handlebar-mounted EMP from Spurcycle with their trademark aesthetic:I told the AT to generate an image of A handlebar-mounted steampunk-style EMP device for bicycles to neutralize food delivery robots in bike lanes. At first the bike was also steam-punky and the device was too large. So I told it to make the bike more modern. Then I told it to shrink the device. Once again, the AI has done such a good job here that I can no longer even present these images ironicallythough the AI did mount the device backwards, since obviously youd want the toggle switches to be facing the rider.As for the video, not every rider interviewed shares my concern:To wit:I dont care about em because I ride hard. You know, I pass em up or whatever the case may be...I can appreciate that, though if we all have to revert to vehicular cycling in order to outrun the killer robots in the bike lane then either well all need bikes with motors, or else well all need high-end road bikes like the new Specialized S-Works Aethos 2:I know Im supposed to like the Specialized Aethos because its a return to the back-to-basics road bike, but thats exactly why I dont like it. See, heres how it works. First you take something nice and simple, like a mountain bike: Or a road bike:Then keep making it more and more complicated, like this:Or this:But then when it turns out lots of people really do still want simple all-terrain bikes without suspension you go back to that only you call it a gravel bike, and when they want road bikes with round tubes you call it an Aethos:And yes, gravel bikes are fine and I have no doubt the Aethos is a joy to ride, but I find it all rather patronizing, thats all. Plus, I especially resent that the bike media is apparently now using the term system weight. Cant we just say weight? But most of all I resent the idea that this bike is future-proof.The frame angles are not too different from those of the previous-generation Aethos. In size 54cm, the reach is identical at 384m, but the stack has increased from 544mm to 559mm. The head angle has been slackened from 73 to 72.5 degrees, while the wheelbase has grown 14mm to 992mm. While the chainstays remain at 410mm, the most notable change is an increase in tyre clearance from 32mm to 35mm, essentially future-proofing the platform for years to come.Just as Im sure the Aethos is a great bike, I also have nothing whatsoever against people who want the newest and latest stuff, as much as I may make fun if it all as a coping mechanism. But the idea that any bike being made right now is future-proof is objectively laughable. Consider that the first Aethos only came out in 2020, yet with its old-timey derailleur hanger and 32mm clearance its apparently already dated. (To say nothing of all the gravel bikes with sub-50mm tire clearance, which are apparently useless now, or the 650b wheel, which seems to have been memory-holed as the industry prepares for the move to 32s.) So by all means, buy the latest Aethos, just as long as you know its about as future-proof as the latest iPhone.Really, the closest you can get to a future-proof bike is a really old one where at least the dust has settled and you know whats still available for it and what isnt. Consider the Faggin, if you can bear to look at it:Obviously nobody interested in an Aethos is going to consider a rusty dinged-up 40 year-old steel road bike no matter how much crabon Campy is bolted to it. However, the bike has come this far, and in 2026 its safe to say if you have a bike like this you can keep it running indefinitely. You can cram a 130mm wheel in it, you can use pretty much any type of shifter you want with it (or go singlespeed thanks to the horizontal dropouts), and even though the rim brake is dead youll be able to find nice used ones for at least the next 100 years.Hey, future-proofing may be ugly, but thats only because the future is too.