Spare a thought for the hard-pressed Germans:Forced to buy lowly bicycles instead of cars:Oh, the humanity!Meanwhile in the Netherlands theyve perfected cycling for humans so now theyre moving on to dogs:If a dog could design a bike seat, this is what it would look like, claims the narrator:This is completely untrue, and I have a schematic for a bike seat drawn by an actual dog to prove it:[It just clamps onto the handlebars if youre wondering.]Dogs prioritize food, comfort, and waging eternal war against their sworn enemy the cat, in that order. Sadly this product never made it into production, though it did get the dog a job as an engineer at Lockheed Martin.As for the United States, a.k.a. Canadas hairy dog bed, unlike those hard-pressed Germans we soft-middled Americans always find money in the sofa cushions to spend on cars:And unlike the Dutch were not really comfortable cycling with our pets because were too preoccupied with helmetsfor them:Canine access to quality bicycle helmets has long been one of the biggest problems facing our society, if not the entire world, but our best and brightest are hard at work on solving the problem:In the meantime, fortunately cat helmets are readily available:The eternal war between dogs and cats has taken an enormous toll in lives but has also yielded some tremendous technological advancements.Speaking of bicycle accessories, when the hell was someone going to tell me the Rev-X is back?!?And it even has an ACTIVE TURBULATOR!!!What the hell is an active tuburlator?, youre probably wondering.Well, its this:So basically some bumps. This may or may not be the same concept as those Zipp wheels that used biomimicry and were modeled after a humpback whales pectoral fins:Cycling may be a terrestrial activity, but more than any other elementeven gravelcyclists are obsessed with air. Either were trying to get our bikes to pass through it as smoothly as possible, or else were fretting over how much of it we have in our tires. So we ride around on whale fin wheels with self-inflation systems:The device is called the GRAVAA:And Im sure Im not the only one who thinks its about time someone invented a pair of wheels you have to charge:Between this and your power meter and your electric drivetrain and your electric dropper post youll need to carry a list of all the batteries and charging ports on your bike because theres no way youll remember them all. Its like trying to remember where you put all the roach baits in your kitchen.If we could work out a way to channel the air flow around the rim directly into the valve then wed really be onto something.Finally, I am a firm believer in free speech, but Im no longer sure it should apply to bike reviews:There really ought to be a law, because no language deserves this sort of abuse, not even English:Oh, the humanity.